Magic Mike's Internet Movie Daily Blog

Last Post: New Blog!

2010-02-14T22:08:00.005-05:00

R.I.P.
Magic Mike's Internet Movie Daily Blog
September 29, 2008 - February 14, 2010

It's the end of an era. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but mmimdb is coming to an end. For over a year I have been posting on this daily blog whenever the hell I have felt like doing it (not often). So while this train has slowly been rolling down the track it has finally reached the end of the line.

It's not that I don't want to write about movies anymore or that I have nothing left to say. Actually, it's the complete opposite. I love writing about movies, but I also love writing about everything else that comes my way in this world.

So that's exactly what I am going to do from now on.

Check out my new blog at http://ingsychi.blogspot.com/

- Magic Mike

People Screaming With Swords

2010-02-12T13:53:00.004-05:00

Why no TMNT 2?

2010-02-10T08:30:00.004-05:00

http://www.superherohype.com/news.php?id=9059

Apparently Imagi studios is closing down its animation department. It doesn't really surprise me because Astro Boy bombed at the box office. Still, it makes me sad because it brings up an issue that I hadn't thought about for some time. What happened to TMNT 2?

The first TMNT movie seemed to do well at the box office. I don't think it cost that much to make either. So why did we never get a sequel? I can understand when other movies that I enjoyed that made money, but were critically panned like Ghost Rider can only muster a rumor of a sequel every now and then, but people liked TMNT. It got decent reviews and fans of the Ninja Turtles really seemed to embrace it. It appealed to all turtle fans.

Now, according to that article Imagi will still be producing animated movies, but just having Koreans do the animation. So maybe this isn't the end of TMNT, but still there has been no news of a sequel in some time. There is mention of a live action movie and I am very excited for that, but not pursuing a sequel to TMNT just seems like a foolish move to me.

So what happened?

Red Band Cop Out Trailer

2010-02-09T08:00:00.005-05:00

Above is the new Red Band trailer for Kevin Smith's film (the first he didn't write himself) Cop Out. (Just enter your birthdate in the boxes and click on the fullscreen button to view)

The reason I think this trailer is worth mentioning is because I did not find the Green Band trailer funny. On the other hand this trailer did make me laugh.

Do profanities really increase the amount of humor in a film? Are all the good jokes in this film too dirty to be shown in the other trailer? If I had seen this trailer first I think I would have been interested in the film. Now I am just confused.

The one thing I am sure of though is that Sean William Scott is a lot funnier than his American Pie roots. Seriously, he's one funny dude. Great in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and more recently in Role Models. His explanation of the band KISS and the song Love Gun (in Role Models) is hilarious!

Anyway, what do you think of this trailer? Is it more of the same? Better or worse than the first trailer? Will you be seeing this movie?

Instant Queue Action Movie Review 9: Bullets, Blood, and Bullets

2010-02-07T03:53:00.003-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review: CA$H AKA Bullets, Blood, and a Fistful of Ca$h

Low budget action movies are a tricky thing. When thinking of the words "action movie" the first things that come to mind are movies like Die Hard or Transformers. That's because of two things. One thing is that most low budget action movies are sent straight to DVD where not many people seek them out. The other thing is that low budget action movies are often not very good. It is hard to do something as over the top as an action movie should be on a low budget. Still, every now and then a Robert Rodriguez might come along and make action work on a lower budget.

CA$H, despite its title, is one of these films that tries to make action work on a low budget scale. So is director Sam Akina the next Robert Rodriguez? Does CA$H overcome its budget setbacks to triumph as a great new action film? I wish I could say these things were true, but unfortunately this film can't overcome its setbacks though it does try very hard.

Let's look first at what works in this film. The titular character, Cash, is played by a man named Tom Doty. From the very first frame we see that Tom Doty contains enough masculinity for a roomful of average men. This guy is so tough that it sends the movie into a level of parody whenever he is on screen. He never winks at the camera, but he doesn't have to when uttering some of the dialogue he does in this film.

In one scene, he gets a knife thrown into his back. Does he get hurt? No, he just gets mildly annoyed. Sure he kills the guy who did it, but he also leaves the knife in his back as if it's nothing. Later, he does pull the knife out to kill another bad guy. See, he was just being practical. No sense of wasting a good weapon and why bother carrying it with his hands when he can just leave it in his back?

When the movie focuses on Cash and his over the top action heroics there is a good amount of fun to be had. One of the big problems with the movie is that it too often focuses on characters that just aren't interesting. It's fun to see Cash take on multiple gangs all at once and all by himself in a warehouse. What's not so fun is getting to know these characters throughout the rest of the film. I don't care who he is blowing up as long as it is established that they are bad and that he hates them.

Unfortunately the movie stays with the various members of each gang long after these things are established. The gangs are all seen doing various things that are supposed to be comical. Instead it just comes off as boring and stale. Since the villains are all so stupid it makes them much less of a threat and a lot of the excitement that should be happening in an action film such as this is lost. It also doesn't help that most of the actors are bad.

Then there is the cinematography which I can tell you has not and will not win any awards. The movie is low budget and it looks it. This is the kind of thing that can ruin a low budget action movie. Action movies are all about visuals and when the visuals aren't great then the action movie can't be.

Now, I may seem like I am being harsh to this film, but that's only because it comes close to being exactly what a good low budget action movie should be. Tom Doty is perfect as Cash and his action scenes are very entertaining. I really feel that if someone re-edited this movie it would be so much better. If a lot of the gang member side plots were cut out the movie would move a lot quicker. Also, what would have been the perfect ending is ruined by the addition of one extra scene that should have never been there in the first place.

Overall, CA$H is a frustrating film. It has certain elements that work beautifully and others that just fall flat. I really wanted to love this film and in the opening scene I thought I just might, but instead I was left checking the time frequently and thinking to myself "how long has this been on?" I think there is a really fun movie within as there are lots of great moments, but overall the movie disappoints. Unfortunately this movie would have been much better had it utilized the one thing they didn't have: CASH.

Rating: Seven Washingtons out of One PHAT Hamilton

MORE CRAZY TRAILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-28T15:51:00.007-05:00

I love Twitch.com. Without them where would I get my dose of crazy trailers from around the world?

The first trailer of note today is one for a short film with David Fincher as the voice of the pringle man (AKA Julius Pringles if Wikipedia is to be believed)! The movie takes place in a world completely taken over by product placement or in otherwords, Earth. According to Twitch the film invloves Ronald McDonald going on a killing spree, but unfortunately none of that is in the trailer. Still, I love the world that has been created in this one. Looks really promising!

Check out the trailer on Twitch!

The next trailer is like David Wain's Role Models except in this one it's not so much funny as it is completely terrifying. I like the premise of this movie a lot. Horror movie settings have got really repetitious over the years, but I can truly say I've never seen one that takes place at a LARP event!

Click here for this bit of geeky terror!

And now my personal favorite crazy trailer of the bunch. This one just needs to be seen to be believed. Funniest trailer of the year so far (just TRY and top this one in the next 11 months, I DARE YOU trailer makers)! Watch closely for the guy shooting himself in the face with his own machine gun. You can't miss it because IT'S A GUY SHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE FACE WITH HIS OWN MACHINE GUN!

Click here for the "Funniest trailer of the year!"

Thanks to Twitch for always finding these insane trailers! I know I look forward to more of these as the year continues! Hey and maybe one day a movie or two might actually come to the U.S. Now wouldn't that be something?

UPDATE!!!! Here is another trailer (this one not from Twitch) I just came across today that is quite funny in it's own way (though more intentionally...I think)

Wall Street: Gekko's Back Motherfu.... oh sorry I mean Money Never Sleeps.

Click here for the epic return of Gordon Gekko! (and the corruption of Shia LaBeouf?) Love the reference to his famous greed line.

Van Damme to fight... for real!

2010-01-28T15:41:00.005-05:00

http://twitchfilm.net/news/2010/01/van-damme-to-fight-in-kickboxer-for-real-seriously-this-aint-no-joke.php

Wow this news is very surprising. I could understand why Van Damme might want to prove he could really fight...in the 90's...but NOW?!? I just hope he makes it out alive. No, really though I hope his opponent is ready to face the ultimate killing machine, the universal soldier! Oh wait, that was just a movie. Van Damme isn't a dead Vietnam soldier brought back to life and programmed to kill he's a man in his 50's who...awww screw it. Kick his ass Van Damme!

I know I'll be tuning in to see what this show is all about. Hey, it's already better than Steven Seagal Lawman.

Speaking of that...what this show really should be is a tournament between all of the most famous action stars in the world. They could call it Celebrity Bloodsport: This time it's real!

Ignorance is Bliss?

2010-01-20T19:43:00.010-05:00

Every now and then you might come across a movie on IMDB that you can't believe exists. You think to yourself how could I have never seen this movie with this actor and this premise? Then you try to find that movie immediately so you can watch it only to realize it can't be found. Even if the movie does actually exist somewhere it might as well not as you aren't ever going to be able to see it.

Don't know what I am talking about? Here are some examples:

1. Imagine an SNL (Lorne Michaels) produced science fiction comedy movie from the 80's featuring Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd. No I'm not talking about Ghostbusters. I'm talking about Nothing Lasts Forever. Never heard of it? Doesn't surprise me as it has never been available on home video and has only had a few theatrical screenings since its creation in 1984! Now this one can be found on the internet if one looks hard enough, but only in low quality picture that surely doesn't do justice to this film. This also aired at least once on TV (I think in Germany), but any recordings of that seemed to have vanished from the internet.

That not good enough for ya? How about this second example.

2. A movie starring Kenneth Branagh, Courtney Cox, and Heather Graham that is directed by Kevin Smith entitled Alien Love Triangle? Okay, this one never actually happened or at least not under the direction of Kevin Smith. Instead directing duties were given to Danny Boyle. Still haven't heard of the movie? Once you read what happened to this movie you'll know why.

What happened is that a science fiction anthology movie was being made that would consist of three half hour segments. Alien Love Triangle was one of these segments. The other two? Why they would be Mimic and Impostor. Names sound familiar? That's because they were both made into feature length movies of their own after the studio watched the footage they had shot for the half hour segments (the half hour version of Impostor can actually be watched on that film's DVD).

I guess one would have to assume that Alien Love Triangle just wasn't deemed as worthy as the other two films and thus was never made into its own movie and was left to live the sad life of a short film with no place to call home. The only known screening of this movie was at the closing of the smallest theater in Wales, a 22 seat railroad car.

Okay, so maybe science fiction isn't your thing. Well, everyone enjoys a good comedy right? You want an all star comedy cast? I've got it.

3. Like Upright Citizens Brigade? The Daily Show? Anchorman? Eastbound and Down? Human Giant? The Office? Chances are you like at least one of these things. Wild Girls Gone has them all. IMDB has the year for this movie as 2007, but people posting on the website have claimed to have seen it as early as 2005 so who knows when it was really made. The point is, however, that this film still hasn't been released. Aside from supposed screenings that people saw all those years ago there has been no sight of this film to be found anywhere. The previous film from the Upright Citizens Brigade, Martin & Orloff, may not have had a wide theatrical release, but it is at least available on DVD (and it's pretty funny too).

The trailer for this movie can be found on youtube here so at least that's something. In the comments section a month old post says that the movie will be available on itunes soon. As of today it still can't be found. Hopefully in the near future that will be changed because that trailer promises a movie sure to please any UCB fan!

Okay. Okay. So you don't like comedy. In fact you'd rather see it die a slow painful death. Well no list like this would be complete without the most famous of all hidden films!

4. The Day the Clown Cried is a movie in which Jerry Lewis plays the character of Helmut Doork, a clown, who is sent to a concentration camp by Nazis to lead Jewish children to their deaths with laughter. Sounds awful right? According to the sole person who even claims to have seen this, Harry Shearer (of Spinal Tap and the Simpsons fame), it is just that: awful. It's no wonder that Jerry Lewis has not let this film ever see the eyes of anyone outside of his own (and apparently his friend Shearer).

Now I bet at least ONE of those movies must have enticed you! I know I would like to get my hands on a couple of these! The sad thing is that it doesn't look like that is going to be happening anytime soon for these movies. So the question is: Would it have been better to have never known about these films at all when taking into account the fact that we may never be able to see them?

James Cameron's Next Film is Here!

2010-01-18T18:22:00.003-05:00

Behold:

James Cameron's Laser Cats 5!

Confucius Say: Watch my new trailer!

2010-01-14T20:41:00.002-05:00

Confucius say epic battles lie within:

Spider-Man is being rebooted

2010-01-11T20:01:00.002-05:00

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43595

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

WHY!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?! WHY?!?!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

In my worst nightmares I see superhero origin stories repeating over and over again. Now it is becoming a reality.

WHY MUST THEY TORTURE ME SO?

Instant Queue Action Movie Review 8: All-American

2010-01-09T21:00:00.005-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review: Mercury Man

Mercury Man is Thailand's attempt at Spider-Man. There are at least two instances of graffiti with comments about "Spidy" found in this movie. There is also the line "With great power comes great responsibility." The superhero in this film even has a suit that looks much like it is made from the exact same material as the costume in the Spider-Man films.

The movie doesn't stop with Spider-Man though. This movie is all around an attempt at replicating an American action film. They even rip off the Robocop theme in one scene. Sure, they changed the notes slightly, but the Robocop theme wasn't going to slip by this guy right here. Nor do I think it was really intended to. I don't think the makers of this film really tried to hide their influences. I mean the Spider-Man references are literally spelled out for us on the walls in certain scenes.

Mercury Man although made in Thailand and featuring a mostly Thai cast does not feel at all like a movie from Thailand. Okay, so their is a scene involving some elephants, but aside from that this feels way more like an American straight to DVD film than say Ong-Bak which featured some of the same crew as this film. Even the action feels more generic than the Muay Thai based action of other movies from Thailand.

Then there is the fact that the bad guys in this film are trying to kill Americans. Having the superhero in this film fight to protect Americans only further showcases the love of America that this film wears proudly for all to see.

Now with all that said I still haven't addressed the one area that is of main concern: the action. One thing I enjoyed about this movie is that it is fast paced. The Mercury Man of the title doesn't put on his costume until about halfway through the movie, but there is plenty of action before then and not just of the normal human kind. Whenever I found myself thinking that the movie was ready to move on to the next action scene it did.

Now the action itself isn't anything mind-blowing, but it gets the job done. There are definitely some bad-ass moments, but at the same time it is not of the quality of the best Thailand action films like Tom Yum Goong (The Protector) or Ong-Bak. Also the special effects are much more low budget than the Spider-Man films that it so wishes to be placed alongside that it brings down the quality of the action scenes at certain times.

The plot of this movie well...it just doesn't matter. It's complete nonsense and involves one character that is very important, but who I am still not sure who he was or how he came to be in certain situations.

Overall, the fast pace of this movie helps in overlooking some of its flaws. This is a decent attempt at creating a new superhero. The characters are thin and the plot is nonsense, but because of the action the movie manages to stay entertaining enough throughout. I'd like to see more attempts at Thai superheroes, but maybe next time with a better budget.

Rating: 75% American Clonage.

This Trailer Has GUNS!!!!

2009-12-31T00:25:00.002-05:00

Did I mention that the following trailer has GUNS?!?! It also has bullets!!! Being shot into people!!! From GUNS!!!

See for yourself:

Oh, and there's also a teaser for Zebraman 2. ZEBRAMAN 2!!!!!

Muppet Christmas Bloopers!

2009-12-24T16:16:00.005-05:00

I came across bloopers from the classic Muppet movie Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas today and had to share them. Not only are they funny, but they also show a sadistic side of Jim Henson that you probably haven't seen before. I thought Kubrick was the king of ridiculous amounts of takes, but Henson gives him some real competition with this drum rolling scene! I don't blame you if you can't get through this one as it is a bit painful to watch Henson put these poor Muppets through such torture, but pain is not far off from laughter and this set of bloopers provides a whole lot of both! Click here to enjoy the Muppet madness!

Instant Queue Action Movie Review 7: Retro Cool Edition

2009-12-22T20:57:00.011-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review:

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

I remember when Sky Captain came out there was a lot of talk about the film. People like Roger Ebert and Kevin Smith fell in love with the movie. Others thought it was a complete failure. There didn't seem to be any middle ground. It was a true love it or hate it movie.

Personally, I never saw it because I didn't like the entire CG aspect of it. I didn't believe a movie could get away with using an entire CG created world. Since then I have come to enjoy movies like Sin City and more recently Avatar. With these in mind and the fact that I am always on the hunt for some more fun action I decided it was time to finally see for myself what this movie had to offer.

So, did I love it or hate it? Turns out there is some middle ground with this movie as I didn't feel either way. The main thing that stands out in this movie is the CGI which of course encompasses everything in the movie aside from the actors. The CGI, which was my initial reason for not seeing the film, is actually one of the better aspects of the movie. Sky Captain was made in 2004 and the fact that the CGI doesn't look too dated now shows just how good the CGI was when it was made.

The problem with the movie comes with the acting. Gwyneth Paltrow sure is pretty and Jude Law knows just when to flash a smile, but there is something lacking in the performances in this film. In one scene, Gwyneth Paltrow's Polly and Jude Law's Joe both arrive in a cold, snowy, setting. The reason it is obvious that it is cold and snowy is because of the CG background. If it hadn't been there to show me that it was supposed to be cold I wouldn't have ever known. The actors seem to have trouble conveying at times just where they are supposed to be. Whether that is from lack of on set communication or the difficulty of acting against a green screen I don't know, but it certainly shows up on film.

There is a severe lack of tension in the film. A lot of times when the characters are in dangerous situations the characters don't seem to be all that bothered by it. Also the characters are all people that have been seen before. In recreating the style of old movie serials the makers of this film also stole all of their movie characters. A lot of the suspense and entertainment is lost because of the fact that the viewer already knows what every character is going to do. We get all the witty banter before it is even delivered by the actors. There is nothing in this movie that is surprising and that creates a dull atmosphere.

However, even with all that said, the movie manages to be entertaining on the whole. The plot is simple, but fun. There is enough action that everything moves along quickly so it never gets too boring. The dialogue while predictable is still charming at times and like I said earlier the CGI is pretty well done. In fact, the famous actor Laurence Olivier (who died in 1989) is resurrected from the dead to play the head villain in the movie through the use of CGI.

Overall, the movie isn't nearly the fun that something like Raiders of the Lost Ark is, but it has enough going for it that it doesn't completely fail. I think the director Kerry Conran shouldn't have disappeared the way he did after this movie didn't get the studio the money it was hoping for. Sky Captain has it's flaws, but if given another chance perhaps Kerry Conran could deliver more than just some pretty CGI and echoes of films from the past.

Rating: 7 CG Robots out of 10

Great Discussion with Directors of 2009!

2009-12-21T12:52:00.005-05:00

The Hollywood Reporter has released this year's edition of their annual roundtable discussion with the big directors of the year. This year they have gathered together Kathryn Bigelow, James Cameron, Lee Daniels, Peter Jackson, Jason Reitman, and Quentin Tarantino! It would be exciting enough just to have all of these director's in the same place at the same time, but this discussion really brings out some great insight into how each of the directors goes about filming. They all have their own rules and theories about how to prepare, shoot, and edit a film. My favorite part is when Cameron hits back at Tarantino with a quote from True Romance. That and the instant acknowledgment that Cameron is "difficult" to work with.

It's a great discussion overall though I do have one problem. They only filmed little bits of the discussion and the rest has to be read. The mix of the two just doesn't work. They really should have picked one or the other. Once you watch the video clips it is disappointing to have to switch to text and not hear their voices.

Interesting side note: James Cameron was once married to Kathryn Bigelow.

Watch excerpts from and read the rest of the discussion here: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3if667a78777fe70e1f0b92584cf1c777b?pn=1

The Spider-Man That Could Have Been

2009-12-17T22:52:00.006-05:00

Much like in the pages of Marvel Comics' own "What if..." comic series (this one being my favorite) life sometimes offers its own look into an alternate universe that could have been. In the case of this days post I want to specifically look into the life of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Everyone knows Spider-Man at this point. If you never read the comics you surely at least saw the Sam Raimi directed movies or maybe one of the cartoons. One thing, however, I do know you haven't seen is James Cameron's Spider-Man. Of course you've never seen it because he never made it, but he did try at one point and there is proof.

If you look at this website here you will find a detailed glimpse at the first script attempt by James Cameron himself! Within there is also a link to where you can actually read the script with accompanying illustrations!

Now while that is interesting (and fitting to post on the day of the release of James Cameron's new movie) that is not where the list of Spider-Man could-have-beens ends. In fact there was another Spider-Man movie attempt that got even closer than James Cameron did.

The adaptation I am speaking of is one made by the low budget kings of the 80's Cannon Films! If you look at this site here you will find not only rundowns of various different scripts, but even pictures of Peter Parker himself as he would have been in their film!

It's crazy to think that we could have had a Spider-Man film made by Tobe Hooper or Albert Pyun! I for one am glad that Spidey got a much more appropriate budget even if it took a lot longer for the film to finally get made! Still, I'd like to be able to enter into a world where this low budget Spider-Man adaptation was made just to see what it was like. How would it have affected future adaptations of Spider-Man? What if James Cameron HAD made his Spider-Man? Would there be no Titanic? No Avatar? No Dark Knight? While we may never know the answers to those questions these websites at least offer a glimpse into what might have been.

Cool Action Scene

2009-12-17T16:08:00.002-05:00

Here is a cool action scene posted on Twitch.com from the upcoming movie Hooked, in which college students gain the powers of their favorite video game characters. I think that is a solid premise for an action movie and this action scene excites me.

Check out the video below for some First-Person Wrench Action!

Instant Queue Action Movie Review VI: Action Movie Action Review

2009-12-17T01:56:00.009-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review:

Excessive Force II: Force on Force

This movie is a thin slice of cheese sandwiched between two gigantic chunks of cheese. Every line of dialogue is right from the cheese playbook. "You're dead wrong?" You're dead right if you guessed that line is somewhere in the movie.

There's also this nugget of truth: "That particular wine should be served chilled, but you won't have that option where you're going."

Now I must rewind things a little here and explain something. I tried watching two other movies and failed before I was finally able to sit down and watch this one in its entirety. I'll admit that I almost didn't finish this one either. At first it was just too much for me to handle. Every character seemed to have the same cheesy laugh that they would go to frequently. "Heh." or "Heh. Heh." or if they were really feeling it "Heh. Heh. Heh." So so so annoying. About a half hour in all I had was one hilarious fight scene to comfort me after the two other failed movie watching attempts.

Even about 45 minutes into the movie I still wasn't sure whether I could make it through. Then somewhere between then and the 1 hour mark I got more comfortable with watching this film. I think my brain just needed some time to adjust itself properly to the level of cheese being offered in this film. Once we finally reached the same frequency everything was just fine.

Now this film is a sequel to the movie Excessive Force (no subtitle for you). While I have seen that movie I couldn't tell you a thing about it. Okay, I could tell you ONE thing about it and that is that James Earl Jones is hilarious in the film. I clearly remember going back and re-watching his scenes after the movie was over. As for the rest of the movie I couldn't tell you one thing that happened. Though none of that really matters because this movie has no connection to the original besides the title.

So why did I even bother checking out the sequel? Simple, I loved the subtitle. Any movie that can use one word so excessively (see what I did there?) should be rewarded. The reward? Sitting through the entirety of this one hour and twenty-seven minute film.

Alright, so how did the movie stack up overall? Not too badly, I have to say. In the last 15 minutes of the movie they ramped up the level of action quite a bit. There are quite a few explosions, a passable body count, and a hilarious car chase. There is also a really random pointless subplot that pops up a few times during the movie that has a suitably random pointless conclusion during the final action scene. If you want some ridiculously cheesy dialogue, acting, and action then this film will do the job.

Ranking: THREE ACTION MOVIE ACTION POINTS OUT OF FIVE ACTION MOVIE ACTION POINTS!

Best DVD Cover of 2009

2009-12-16T19:36:00.008-05:00

Hello, back again with another end of the year award. This time I'm not here to hate, but rather to give some praise to a job well done in 2009.

Okay, so I've written before about how DVD covers are often very disappointing. Often a movie will have many cool posters, but manage to turn out seriously awful artwork when the time comes to release the film on DVD.

Well, this time I'd like to put the spotlight on a DVD cover that actually gets it right! So I give to you now my pick for best DVD cover of 2009:

Now you might think that this cover is super cheesy. Well, that's because it is! However, one can't deny the accuracy of this cover in both representing the movie that is contained within and the game that it is adapted from. Just take a look at the cover for the video game Farcry from which the film was adapted:

Just look at how similar the two covers are! I will admit I wish they actually recreated it completely as it was on the original game cover, but to be fair Til Schweiger is never swimming in front of an island at any point in the movie. So actually the cover for the DVD is quite accurate the way that they have done it!

Congratulations to the makers of this DVD cover! It is always good to see a DVD cover that accurately depicts the movie within! Its also nice to see something that clearly had some effort put into it. Considering the similarity to the video game cover the makers of this DVD cover clearly did some research! Let's all give some praise for the makers of this DVD artwork! Perhaps other DVD cover designers will take note of this award and strive to work harder in the future! I hope to see some brutal competition next year!

P.S. The two soldiers in the background of the DVD cover are not in the movie nor are they in the original video game cover. Technically they are not necessary, but it just goes to show the lengths that the designers went in that they actually took the time to add those two soldiers in! They're so out of place that I love it!

Worst Trailer of 2009

2009-12-15T19:20:00.003-05:00

As the year comes to a close everyone is looking back and making lists of their favorite things of the year. Last year I wrote about my favorite movies of the year. This year I want to try some different things both because I feel there is a lot more that can be talked about and because honestly so far out of the movies I have seen this year there is no one stand out film for me, but a lot of great ones.

For my first topic I would like to address what I feel is the worst trailer of the year. Now before I tell you what it is I have to admit that it's not so much the trailer I have a problem with, but the movie itself. No trailer could make this movie appealing to me. That said, this trailer exploits all the things that make this movie so wrong. Also, the movie does not come out until 2010 so the trailer is my only gateway to talking about this film.

So what is the worst trailer of 2009? Well, have a look for yourself below:

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

If you didn't say that while watching the trailer you were at least thinking it.

Now I know what you are thinking: "What's wrong with babies, Magic?" Well, if we are talking about the actual human entity known as a "baby" then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The movie, however, is a whole different thing.

Imagine you are naked. Naked and crying. Now imagine that somewhere unbeknown to you a camera is filming your naked body. Now imagine that that film is projected into theaters across the world under the Disney banner. All the people in the audience react in unison with an "Awwwwwwwwwwwww" as they stare at your naked body. Sounds great right? No, it doesn't. So why is it okay when it's a baby on the screen?

Now I'm not knocking the movie because of nudity I just used that to emphasize my point. My point is that these babies don't know what film is and don't understand the concept that people will be watching them all around the world as they do whatever things they do. It might seem cute on the surface because well, babies are cute, but really this is anything but.

I know that I wouldn't want to grow up to find out that my life as a baby was shown unto the whole world in a movie! It might sound cool in the fame sense of things, but really I would never want to be a baby in that film. What makes me hate this movie so much is that when some of those babies grow up they might feel the same way, but their feelings apparently don't matter to the makers of the film.

Okay, so I haven't seen the movie, but if it is anything like the trailer then I don't see why this movie had to be made. We all know babies are cute. I think that is the one thing everyone in the world can agree upon. We certainly didn't need a movie to tell us this and that seems to be the only purpose the movie has. Maybe the movie really has something deeper going on under surface, but from the way it's being promoted it is simply a movie made to capitalize on "the awwww factor" that audiences will inevitably give it. Judging from my experience watching this trailer in the theater I can say that Disney has unfortunately done exactly that.

The problem, however, still stands that no matter what this movie ends up being there is still the issue of whether or not babies should be exploited on film. I recall a joke on The Office from an earlier season where one of the characters got mad at seeing a calender full of cute baby pictures because she thought it was exploiting them. At the time I thought she was crazy, but after seeing this trailer I can see her point.

I just can't find any reason for this movie to exist. It doesn't seem to be offering any information that people don't already know and besides that are the babies really necessary in getting whatever point they need across? I think it is wrong to film babies in this way as they cannot possibly comprehend the filming that is going on around them. Taking pictures of your children or making movies of children and showing them to your friends and family is one thing, but showing the footage to the entire world? That I just see no point to.

To anyone who is looking forward to this film I suggest you instead gather around with your family and friends and spend time with the babies in your life instead of going to the cinema to watch some random babies on the screen.

Baby rant = over.

The Best Scripts Yet To Be Filmed

2009-12-11T16:38:00.003-05:00

At the end of every year a list is put out called the Blacklist which contains a glimpse at the best scripts that have yet to be filmed.

You can see the list here: http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2009/12/11/black-list-2009-unproduced-screenplays/

Out of this year's list I am most looking forward to The Muppet Man. I think that could be a really clever and entertaining movie if done right.

The Gunslinger could be good as well though it sounds like a billion movies made before it.

The Days Before could be cool, but may end up an annoying mess of a movie as time travel plots (and Groundhog Day scenarios) can easily lead to this.

By Way of Helena sounds interesting as well and could be something to look out for.

Londongrad could be very fascinating or a bore depending on who they get to act and direct.

Cedar Rapids kind of sounds like an episode of the Office, but I like the Office so I'm not sure what that means.

Prisoners sounds like it could be too much like Mystic River and Antoine Fuqua has not impressed me too much in previous efforts, but it could be, like Mystic River, a pleasant surprise. It certainly has potential.

The Voices sounds too cute for me. I mean the title says everything. It's a movie about a guy who hears voices in his head. Certainly nothing groundbreaking, but it could be a fun movie if done right. Talking to severed heads is usually fun, but again it's been done before.

LA Rex is either going to be really bad or really good. Just depends how they approach it.

As for Desperados it sounds dreadful, but I'm always game for a surprise so I hope I'm wrong. Isla Fisher is great in Wedding Crashers I will say that much.

Lastly, there is The Social Network. I just can't get any excitement for that one.

Will one of these be the next years big hit? Oscar success? Phenomenal flop? Personally, I look forward to finding out.

Instant Queue Action Movie Review Part 5: Man Alive!

2009-12-09T02:28:00.004-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review:

The Silencer

I liked this one.

In The Silencer, Michael Dudikoff was wisely cast in the mentor/ultimate badass role. The first hour of the film deals with this aspect and is to me the best part of the movie. Watching Dudikoff train and flat out best his student in every aspect is a whole lot of fun. It's nice to think that Dudikoff has built up his action man status enough that he can now train some new bad ass action heroes in what it truly means to kick some ass!

Now the aforementioned student in this film is not a bad ass in the Dudikoffian sense of the word, but he doesn't bring down the film too much. There is something likeable about the dumbass getting schooled in the way of the Dudikoff. However, with the student comes the weaker part of the film.

As I said the first hour of the movie deals mostly with setting up the badass-ness of Dudikoff and his mentoring of the student. The last half hour deals with the various double crossings that one would expect in a film involving the CIA and the FBI. I will applaud the movie for actually having a plot and being able to grab some suspense from it though it never really goes anywhere too impressive. Still, I like seeing that the effort is at least put forth and for that I cannot fault this movie too much.

Overall, this movie kept me entertained from start to finish. The ending was pretty typical and the plot twists were not surprising, but there was a clear effort put forth to at least attempt to tell a decent story. There is also a strange highly negative outlook towards the FBI, but that doesn't really concern me in terms of my enjoyment of the film. This one, I have to say, is worth the watch!

Rating: 8 out of 10 on the Dudikoff-o-meter

Timothy Dalton: Most Underrated Actor?

2009-12-08T23:11:00.003-05:00

I found this article today linked from IMDB:

http://flixchatter.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/timothy-dalton-most-underrated-actor/

I just want to say that I both appreciate this article and disagree with it completely. You see Timothy Dalton does get "no respect", but in my mind he was the worst bond (Lazenby though very hit and miss was at least in a much better movie than any of Dalton's). Really though I didn't even bother reading the whole article. Yup I'm that lazy. I just wanted to clarify that I appreciate a good Timothy Dalton reference and this one certainly counts!

Really though I just wanted an excuse to say that I am looking forward to his voice-over part in Toy Story 3 as Mr. Pricklepants, a hedgehog toy with thespian tendencies! So take that flixchatter!

Oh and nice snow effect!

Instant Queue Action Movie Review Part 4: This Time It's War!

2009-12-08T03:43:00.005-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's review:

Point Blank

Man, this was not what I expected. Ok, so the premise here is Die Hard in a mall (or Con Air on the ground depending on who you ask), but really this isn't anything like those movies (OK, maybe it is Con Air-ish).

The movie starts out really bad. I found myself as I often do in the early moments of a low budget action movie asking myself "Can I handle this?" I figured, what the hell I might as well give it a shot. Curiosity usually seems to get the best of me in these situations. It's either that or I just have a severe need for pain.

Now I won't say that the movie got good, but I will tell you that the movie got pretty damn entertaining! This one should definitely be filed under hilariously bad. This movie is as goofy as action movies get! I really believe that at least SOME of the people working on this movie set out to make a comedy (I'm looking at you Danny Trejo!) though I do feel that some maybe weren't in on the joke (Mickey Rourke? Hard to tell what he is thinking so can't be sure). Really though when the head bad guy is as flamboyantly gay as the one in this movie you have to think that at least someone wanted to make the audience laugh and I'll just come out and say it: I laughed pretty hard.

I dreaded watching this film in the first scenes, but by the last half hour I had a constant smile on my face. The highlights of this film mostly involve Danny Trejo's insanely over the top performance and his amazingly bad fight scenes with Mickey Rourke in which the funniest 90's guitar riff score accompanies every slow motion drenched moment! Another highlight is anytime a character gives a long sad speech about how they never wanted to become a criminal with the same sad music playing each time. Also I have to give mention to a hilarious death scene involving a last request of some weed!

Overall, this movie is either really stupid on purpose or just really stupid. Either way we win with tons of what the hell is going on moments to make us laugh and gaze in awe.

Rating: 8 Crazy Trejos out of 10

Instant Queue Action Movie Review Part 3

2009-12-07T02:54:00.017-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's reviews:

JCVD's Nowhere to Run

and

Dolph Lundgren's Direct Contact

First up:

Nowhere To Run

The best Van Damme movie ever? Not even close David Sheehan, NBC-TV. This one actually resides somewhere just above the lower end of the Van Damme movie spectrum. Not quite as mind numbing as Cyborg or Death Warrant, but nowhere near the highs of Blood Sport, Universal Soldier, or yes I'm going to say it, Street Fighter!

The problem with this movie lies solely with the plot. I just don't like it. I don't like it one bit. Tell me, why should I give a crap about a criminal who is broken out by some random dude who unleashes at least potentially a whole bus full of criminals? This is the very first scene in the movie and by the end of the film I have to say I never quite understood the justification for Van Damme knocking out a police officer to escape a prison sentence nor did I understand just who the hell the random guy was who broke the prisoners out. Perhaps I missed something in terms of the random guy, but really there was never a justification as to why I should care about a criminal (he admits himself that he is guilty of robbery) who is on the run.

Now I understand what the movie was trying to do here. They wanted Van Damme's character to be a criminal seeking redemption. I'm just stating the fact that it didn't work. In the film we are never given a reason for why Van Damme stole in the first place or why he is sorry about it. The only thing we learn in the movie is that his partner killed a cop during a robbery and Van Damme went to jail (I think the partner got killed). Van Damme (ok, Sam is his character's name) seems to regret his partner's actions, but really he never expresses any regret towards his stealing as if that wasn't something to be sorry about. I mean yes it is worse to kill someone than to steal, but neither is something to be content with.

My problem with this character is that I never feel anything towards him. Van Damme does a lot of staring in this film that implies some deep thought it's just I'm not sure at all what he is thinking. If I can't relate to the main character or at least understand who he is then how can I really enjoy the film?

Another problem with this movie is the tiredness of its plot. Like my previously reviewed movie Missionary Man this movie utilizes the same plot as movies such as Shane and Pale Rider before it. That is to say a guy rides into town (on a motorcycle in this case) finds bad guys terrorizing innocent families and decides to kick some ass. He also gets laid in this one as well in a predictable and cheesy romance with the single mom of the family he moves in with. Yes, he also bonds with the children much like in Shane or Pale Rider or Missionary Man or whichever version you like.

Now, I have been dishing some serious hurt on this movie, but as I said in the beginning of my review this is not quite the worst level of Van Dammage put to the screen. So what exactly does this movie get right?

1. Children seeing and later making dinner conversation about Van Damme's penis (kids think it's large, mom thinks it's just average).

2. Good guy/ Bad guy chemistry. I swear that Van Damme and Ted Levine (yes, Buffalo Bill is the bad guy here!) were a much more believable couple than Van Damme and Rosanna Arquette. Whereas Sam's relationship with the single mom felt tired and forced the sexual tension between the baddie and the goodie reached dizzying heights every time they stared into each others eyes just close enough to not lock lips.

3. Budget. This movie clearly had a decent budget. I mean a big tower of water comes crashing down on a fire. That kind of ridiculous action only happens with money.

Overall, despite the good efforts put forth in the acting and the money departments there is just not enough else to make this movie worthwhile. There are only a couple good action moments and aside from a couple funny interactions the rest of the movie is a pretty empty attempt at serious drama.

Rating: 6 Van Damme's out of 10 (Not very big, but I've seen smaller)

Now THIS is what a straight to DVD movie is supposed to be like! This latest Dolph Lundgren starring film gets just about everything right.

Unlike the previous two Dolph films in the IQAMR this one is not directed by the Dolphster himself. Unfortunately for Dolph I've got to say that the difference is noticeable. Whereas I had problems with the previous films I can't really find much to fault here.

This movie starts with Dolph getting himself into a fight with some other inmates in prison. Starting off an action movie with a fight in the very first scene? Definitely the right way to go. This way we set up the character (a bad ass who wins fights no matter the odds), set up the plot (action!), and deliver just what everyone who watches the film wants to see from frame one!

Luckily, the action pretty much never lets up. This is about as action packed as a movie can get. Though that is not to say the movie has no plot. Surprisingly there actually is a plot here with twists and turns some of which I didn't see coming.

The acting in this film is also pretty good (at least by direct to DVD standards). Dolph as usual is a great screen presence (seriously, the guy's got talent) and we are also treated to former 80's sort of star Michael Pare in what proves to be an entertaining role that he pulls off well. Also the female lead does a good job with her performance (mostly just being sexy). Unfortunately she also gives a nice transition to the parts of the movie that aren't so great:

1. No nudity. I don't expect full frontal. Hell I wouldn't expect any nudity, but when a woman takes her top off on screen and all we are treated to is her back I get disappointed. I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. She's sexy and I just wish she would share with the audience what she shares to others on the screen. Are we the audience not good enough for her?

2. Chase scenes. Now there is a fair amount of chasing going down in this movie and I totally can dig that. However, to be honest some of the filming during these scenes was not up to the caliber of the rest of the movie. There are some sped up shots and other moments that just felt a little off.

3. Another element that comes up a lot during said chases is the use of stock footage. Now I didn't know for sure that there was stock footage used for this movie until I read about it on IMDB after watching it, but I definitely had the feeling that a lot of the helicopter shots were from completely different films.

Really though. Those aren't huge complaints. The only other thing I can think of that the movie didn't do so well were CGI rockets, but that is where the whole Direct to DVD low budget comes in. I can't fault the movie for being what it is.

So overall, this movie gets just about everything right where it really counts. Like Command Performance this movie also does not shy away from the gore which is something I applaud. Also once again Dolph proves that he is a captivating screen presence. Luckily, this time the rest of the movie is on the same level as he is. With both The Expendables and a new Universal Soldier movie coming out next let's hope that the good Dolph trend continues for many more movies to come!

Rating: 10 Dolph's out of 10!

Instant Queue Action Movie Review 2.0

2009-12-07T01:08:00.008-05:00

Netflix has thrown endless amounts of action movies into their instant watch section. Perhaps they thought no one wanted to watch them.

Well, if that's the case then they forgot about one thing.

ME.

Today's reviews:

Dolph Lundgren's Command Performance and Missionary Man

First up...

Command Performance

A looooooong time ago (actually January 2009 to be precise, the same month of my last instant queue review no less) I posted the trailer for Command Performance and I could not have been happier with what I had seen. The movie was Die Hard at a rock concert and it actually looked GOOD. Well, about a month ago I realized that the movie had quietly been unleashed unto the Netflix instant watch section without any promotion. The happy feeling of watching that trailer came surging through my body once again and it wasn't long before I clicked play to finally consummate with my wildest action movie fantasies. A month later I sit here finally ready to write about the experience. Was it all I hoped for or did it under "perform" when the time came to show me the goods? Without further ado I think it's time I give you my thoughts on the experience.

Well, after a quick, worrisome, flashback the movie starts much like the trailer. You get to see Dolph preparing with his rock band for their next performance. At the same time we also see that there are some bad dudes looking to crash the party. Now it is in these early scenes that one thing becomes apparent: Dolph Lundgren is the man. In this film since he is playing a rock star drummer he wisely decided to end every sentence spoken with the word "dude." It's little touches like this and the moment where he explains that his band CMF stands for Cheap Mother-$#@%er (a reference to his manager) that really create a fun tone for the movie.

Then the baddies come and crash the party and the movie is never the same. During these first moments of action Dolph gets a couple decent kills. In fact he gets exactly two good kills both involving musical instruments. After that the movie is simply a bore. The worrisome flashback that starts the movie comes back to haunt the rest of the picture with a plot that I didn't care about and more importantly a serious tone that doesn't gel with the campy tone of the first 20 or so minutes.

Now overall I would say this movie is not worth the time, but it is not without its merits. Here are the good things about this movie:

1. Dolph Lundgren proves once again that he has enough charisma to star in much better movies.

2. The gore factor. This movie gets it right with a good helping of blood anytime someone bites it.

However the movie also gets many things wrong. Here is where it fails:

1. The mix of serious and campy tones. The movie needed to decide what it wanted to be: a knowingly cheesy premise of an action movie or a serious low budget action attempt. I would have preferred it stuck with the former, but unfortunately 80% of this movie was the latter.

2. The hero doesn't want to use guns. So he kills people in a very gory fashion forcing musical instruments through bodies with his own hands, but he doesn't want to use guns? Okay,I actually was going to buy that one. I figured this guy is just too classy to use guns. He likes to make killing an art. Nope. Turns out his explanation for not using guns just goes back to the ol' not killing people thing. Wait? What? Didn't I just see him kill people? Oh wait it's okay. Now that he has revealed why he doesn't want to use guns he is over it and will now start shooting people. That makes it okay. (no it doesn't)

3. Hero with a criminal past. Now this one I am actually a little hazy on because it's been a month, but in this film Dolph did have some kind of criminal background that prevented him from going to the US. Now I believe he was actually innocent in the film, but still I am getting tired of seeing this redemptive criminal plot in action movies. All four of the action movies I have watched lately have used this plot. Please, do something different next time writers.

Overall, I would have to say that this movie gave a mostly disappointing performance. There were certainly good elements and I hope Dolph takes those with him in his next directorial effort, but overall this was a bore.

Rating: 6/10 on the Dolph scale.

Now onto review number two: Missionary Man

Missionary Man is an earlier directorial and starring effort from the Dolph-man. This one definitely has a lower budget feel and a very tired plot, but somehow comes off better than his latest directing attempt.

The plot of Missionary Man can be seen in earlier films such as Shane, Pale Rider, and the soon to be reviewed JCVD action movie Nowhere to Run. Basically, guy rides into town (in this case, as well as Nowhere to Run's, on a motorcycle) finds bad guys causing trouble for innocent families and decides to kick some ass. So unlike Command Performance I wasn't all that excited when I clicked the play button. The things I do for Dolph Lundgren.

Luckily, this is still Dolph Lundgren we are talking about here and let me tell you this man simply has it. No matter the quality of the film around him (in this case some very bad acting) he somehow manages to charm. The man just creates a cool vibe wherever he goes.

As for action this movie isn't breaking any new ground, but like I said Dolph just oozes cool. There are lots of scenes here with Dolph facing down groups of people and every time I was anxious to see how he would pull himself out of the situation. It turns out one Dolph is far greater than a whole bunch of wimpy bad guys.

Now I mentioned before that Dolph not only stars in this film, but he also directed it. It is in this category that I have to start criticizing the man a little. The first thing one will notice when watching the film is that there is this strange washed out look to the entire movie. I'm not sure why that is, but I will say that it did not look very appealing. In fact it made my brain constantly question if I should be watching this film. The same can be said of the actors (aside from the man himself of course). I don't expect much from a direct to DVD movie, but still these actors were to put it politely, not.

Overall, despite the movie's visual shortcomings and extremely tired plot, I managed to have some fun with this one. There was just the right amount of action and bad ass Dolphitude that this movie entertained.

Rating: 7/10 for the Dolph-man on this one.

You know Dolph-man kinda sounds like Dolphin-man. Maybe I need a new name for the Dolphmeister. See what I did there?

New Steven Seagal Trailer!

2009-12-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

Another Great Trailer

2009-12-01T20:39:00.003-05:00

I'm finally back and it's time to present to you another fine trailer I have stumbled on in my internet journeys. This one is called A Black Woman's Guide to Finding a Good Man (or is it A Blackman's Guide to Understanding Women?). Title confusion aside I think this movie has a lot going for it. Okay, this movie is complete trash, but what did you expect from the magic man? This one is a gem. Favorite part: The charming black guide being erased off the screen. Now that's magic!

Click here for the trailer!

The Horribly Slow Murder with the Extremely Ineffecient Weapon

2009-11-19T22:59:00.004-05:00

I've been waiting to see this short for some time now as it has made its way through the festivals. Now it has finally arrived on Youtube in all of its HD glory! It does not disappoint!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y

More Funny Trailers!

2009-11-09T06:32:00.003-05:00

I love a good funny trailer. I caught this one today and had to share it (love when it gets to the smashing things montage):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muD6shNE6ro

And if you thought THAT was good then you are in for a real treat. Ever wonder what happens when you combine a low budget Ice-T with guns movie with a low budget Dudikoff in space movie? No? Well here it is:

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2327445785/

Genius trailer!

2009-11-04T14:20:00.001-05:00

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42958

Awesome.

Why Halloween III is Important

2009-10-29T22:48:00.011-04:00

Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a bad movie. Not so bad it's good. Not hilariously bad. It's a terrible movie. With the exception of the cheesy charm of Tom Atkins there is no enjoyment to be had with the film. It is because of this that people tend to dismiss the movie entirely. However, to dismiss this film completely is to ignore a film that changed the course of movies forever.

Most people remember Halloween III as the one that didn't even have Michael Myers in it. While it is true that Michael Myers does not make an appearance in the film that is not the reason for its failure. In fact Michael Myers not appearing in the film is the one thing that the movie has going for it. It is the thing that makes the movie special and yes, important.

To understand Halloween III's importance one must take a look back at the history of the franchise. When John Carpenter made the original Halloween he didn't know that it would become such a hit and thus had no visions of Michael Myers' story past the end credits of the first film. When the movie became a big hit of course people wanted more money in the form of a sequel. So John Carpenter wrote the sequel and the slasher movie franchise was born.

Being the first slasher franchise meant that they were not only treading new territory, but setting the standards for which every slasher franchise would follow. The second early slasher franchise Friday the 13th for example took the hospital setting from Halloween II to use in Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter and later Halloween would even take some aspects from the Friday the 13th series. So when it came time to think about making Halloween III, the first 3rd movie in a slasher series (alongside Friday the 13th 3D which came out the same year), there was a lot at stake.

For Halloween III the creators wisely noted that the Michael Myers story came to an end in Halloween II and thus there was no story thread to continue in the franchise. Still wanting to make some money with an established name they decided to go ahead with a third movie anyway. With only a name to base the script off of they decided that the story would have to be set during Halloween. The idea was that as long as the movies kept making money they could keep putting out movies with the only link being that they are set during Halloween.

Unfortunately the movie they made is absolutely terrible and it was not a success. Friday the 13th however kept the slasher movie franchise alive by bringing Jason back for every movie. Not satisfied that the slasher genre was continuing without them the producers of the Halloween series brought back Michael Myers for the fourth installment and because it was actually a good movie they decided to continue this trend throughout the mostly terrible rest of the franchise.

Now let's think for a second what all of this means. If Halloween III had been a good movie and successful at the box office then we would have seen a whole different franchise that only has the link of the Halloween setting. The makers of the Friday the 13th franchise would have noticed the success of this and perhaps Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter really would have been final at least for the character of Jason. However, because Halloween III was terrible and unsuccessful Jason was resurrected for Friday the 13th part 6: Jason Lives and because that movie was actually good Jason lived on through many other sequels (and now a reboot).

So this is why I say: By all means never watch Halloween III, but at least take a second to appreciate its attempt to save us from the never-ending implausible resurrections of slasher movie characters.

James Franco Creating Gucci Ad

2009-10-28T22:14:00.001-04:00

James Franco: Gucci Commercial Outtakes from James Franco

Apocalypse Right Now

2009-10-28T14:58:00.002-04:00

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42880

Read the plot synopsis. Adam Sandler is playing both Jack AND Jill. Yup, you read that sentence right. Now kill yourself before it's too late. This movie must be coming out in 2012. Either that or the apocalypse is coming sooner than those Mayans thought.

Fantastic Interview With Lance Henriksen

2009-10-23T15:33:00.002-04:00

Capone from Ain't It Cool News got the chance to interview Lance Henriksen and it is really a fantastic interview! Lance Henriksen has without a doubt proved to me with this interview that he is one of the most passionate actors out there! The dedication to his characters is just awe-inspiring. I love how honest he is with directors and writers in what must happen in each movie for him to be a part of it. Also the stories from the set of Hard Target are truly insane! The best bit might be about Ed Harris on the set of Appaloosa, but I'll leave that for you to read yourself on the link below:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42817

Thanks to Capone and Lance Henriksen for this awesome insight into an actor's craft!

The Battle For Funniest Trailer Begins!

2009-10-22T01:56:00.004-04:00

OK, so we all know Japan is one crazy place. What I am here to show you is that China can be just as crazy! In what may be a last minute upset China may have crafted a trailer of such crazy beauty that could top Japan's latest offerings. No, this trailer does not have lots of gore or anything that hasn't been done before in some way, but there is just something about the way this trailer is structured. There is a beautiful story being told here. It is the story of Andy Lau, a women, and giant robots and guns and winged creatures! Directed by none other than Jing Wu himself. The man so good that he must put out at least 100 movies minimum a year! OK that's an exaggeration, but not by much!

But Japan is not one to be beaten easily and thus they give us this next trailer. As the great people at Twitch have explained this trailer is actually a trailer for a normal drama movie. Except there is some kind of squid craze going on now and to promote the squid-ness the trailer has been given some new additions that enter Japan back into the funniest trailer battle!

Now, just when you thought China might have been topped once again they offer us this next trailer which may seem normal at first. After all it is the sequel to Storm Riders which we know means sword fights and lots of CGI. However the one thing you may not have been expecting is the loudest trailer ever made! Every single sound is hilariously over the top loud! Words just don't do justice so you will have to listen for yourself!

So which one do you think is the funniest? Or maybe they aren't funny at all and I am just crazy? Any other funny recent trailers you can think of? If we enter the US into the equation that new Sandra Bullock "I adopted a homeless black kid into my family and single handedly saved him from gangs and made him a sports star" drama would probably be up there now that I think of it. What do you think is the funniest trailer?

More Troma Awesomeness!

2009-10-21T20:30:00.002-04:00

Wow I just found out that Troma took over the blog over at DVD talk this month and there is some really great stuff over there! The highlight is probably Lloyd Kaufman talking about the making of Sgt. Kubikiman, NYPD. It really brings up the struggle of keeping a movie a personal project or sacrificing art for a bigger audience and more money. I wish there was some portal in which I could go to the alternate universe where Kabukiman was made as an all ages movie just to see how that changed the rest of Troma's existence.

Check out that piece and much more (including an awesome intereview between Stan Lee and Lloyd Kaufman!) at the link below:

http://www.dvdtalk.com/horror/blog/

A little Troma history and some BIG news!

2009-10-21T18:32:00.004-04:00

Troma is an amazing company. Lloyd Kaufman is a genius. If you disagree you are not my friend. Seriously. Get the F out of here. Yeah, you too you punk! Ok now that we got all the riff-raff out of here we can talk seriously.

Troma fans there is some big news today! The Toxic Avenger 5: The Toxic Twins is coming soon! Just two days ago I watched Toxie 2 and thought to myself will Toxie ever return to the big screen? Well, I went to twitter and posed the question to none other than Lloyd Kaufman himself and got no response. Then today he posts this article announcing the new Toxic Avenger film. Coincidence? Most definitely, but a guy can dream can't he?

The thing that is even more interesting than this sequel is that it is going to be interactive to some extent. Could Lloyd Kaufman change the way movies are made single-handedly with the new Toxie film? Well, it's a Troma movie so not enough people will see it for that to be a reality, but that doesn't take away from the genius of it.

Actually this interactive movie event seems like just a more exaggerated kind of test screening, but it is interesting to think about how this will work. I mean are they really going to film enough footage that people are going to effect the editing that much? I would think with the low budgets of Troma productions they keep the number of takes and shots to a minimum, but then again Troma movies are so crazy I can't really be sure exactly how they achieve their levels of greatness. Let's just hope whoever is in these audiences picks the right stuff.

Personally, I wouldn't mind having multiple endings clue style. I guess Toxie wouldn't be playing in enough theaters to really warrant that kind of tactic, but I want someone to have the balls to do that kind of thing again. Just imagine the next Batman movie: One ending Alfred is the killer, One ending Batman realizes he did it all along, and the other could be the Riddler! See it all ties in with the whole Clue thing. Are you listening to me Nolan Bros.? We want Clue 2: Batman edition!

Wait, this post was supposed to be about low budget awesome movies not big money studio projects. So I guess I'll end it with this: Support true independent art! Support Troma Entertainment! Give Lloyd Kaufman money so Toxie can have the budget he deserves! He IS the first superhero from New Jersey after all! Go Toxie Go!

Yup, Japan is crazy!

2009-10-19T19:13:00.003-04:00

The second trailer for Mamoru Oshii's Assault Girls is here! No idea what to expect from this movie except of course for girls, guns, and at least one big giant monster! Thanks again, Japan!

Check out the trailer here!

Also, the same site also brings news that Zebraman 2: Zebra City's Counter Attack is about to go into production. See the first one if you haven't. Then you will know how awesome it is that we will have more Zebraman on the screen!

10 Alternative Movies For The Halloween Season

2009-10-14T21:52:00.010-04:00

It's Halloween season and for the movie lovers out there it means it's time to break out the horror films! But the key here is to find the right films to watch. Sure you could just pop in Halloween (I did last year) or you could put on Alien or maybe The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm St., The Shining, you get the idea. But maybe you want something different. Maybe you have watched Evil Dead too many times to count. Sure you could pop in Evil Dead II (my preferred choice) or even better Army of Darkness, but maybe you've seen all of those countless times as well. That is where my list comes in. Forget all the typical Halloween choices. This is a list for the films you might not necessarily think of first to watch this Halloween season, but you certainly won't regret watching nonetheless.

So without further ado I present to you in no order of importance:

Magic Mike's 10 Alternative Movies For The Halloween Season

10. Halloween II (1981)

OK so this one might be a little obvious, but still I feel that a lot of people out there have not seen past the original classic. Why stop there? John Carpenter didn't. In fact if you have only seen the first Halloween you have only seen the first half of the story for this movie starts off right where the first one ends and shows what happened on the rest of that Halloween night. It's a very fun film that Friday the 13th part IV (another awesome film) would later take a cue from with its hospital opening.

And/Or

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Again maybe a little obvious, but I feel that this is an under-seen and under-appreciated entry in not only the Halloween series, but also in the slasher genre in general. This time it is Halloween that steals from Friday the 13th (Part V if you can believe it!) with the main character being a former victim haunted by the memories of Michael Myers. Though this sequel is far fetched as Halloween 2 clearly sought to end the story of Michael Myers once and for all it is just too fun a movie to dismiss.

9. Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane AKA Plane Dead

Depending on which title you choose you are either getting a virus spreading monkey movie with Dustin Hoffman, a George Romero classic, or an awesome horror pun. No matter which one you pick you are guaranteed at least a plane! Now this film could easily have been a cheap knock-off of Snakes on a Plane and while it might be both cheap in budget and a knock-off the movie is rich in terms of quality. This movie is a really funny tale of zombies...on a plane!

8. They Live

This is another John Carpenter classic, but not one people might immediately think of when they think of horror movies to watch. Maybe it's just too cheesy to be thought of as scary, but there is a lot of truth in the movie's plot and realizing that can be a scary thing in itself. So I argue this one is worthy of the Halloween season. Plus it's just so damn fun!

7. Encounters of the Spooky Kind

This one is a mix of martial arts, horror, and comedy! The last frame will have you howling with laughter guaranteed. This is Sammo Hung in his prime in one of his best and most influential films. The Mr. Vampire series would later continue the style created in this film, but for me it doesn't get better than this original classic.

6. The Crow

For all its awesome dark imagery and its Halloween setting.

5. Monster House

It may not have the same quality of animation as movies from Pixar, but the animation is decent enough and it brings to the table a lot of heart and fun. Plus its got voice talent from Steve Buscemi as a grumpy old neighbor! A forgotten animated film that's fun for the whole family!

4. Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Hey, Death is a main character and they go to hell! Surely, these are fitting enough elements for the Halloween season! Oh and that "Station" dude really creeps me out!

3. The Dark Crystal

When they said dark they meant it. This may feature an all muppet cast, but there is no Kermit or Big Bird in sight. Not even David Bowie. This is pure unfiltered muppet fantasy and some of these creatures aren't of a friendly nature.

2. Blood Car

This is a film to educate us in these environmentally conscious times. A tale of one brave man and how he against all odds invented a product to save all of us from environmental ruin. It is an important and little heard of story that should be seen by all who walk the Earth.

1. Lost Highway

This movie scared the bejeezus (bejesus? bee-gees? I don't really know what this word means) out of me the first time I watched it. Now that I understand it better and have seen it more than once it doesn't have the same scare factor anymore, but that doesn't matter because it is still a great film. David Lynch's films are often accused of not making sense, but with this film everything is right there if you want to look for it. In fact I think this is the peak of Lynch's career. It's a movie that is strange enough that you have to think about it to understand completely, but it actually makes sense if you do. In terms of Halloween I would say that if you haven't seen it you are likely to get freaked out on your first viewing and if you have the story is still dark enough to fit into the Halloween season.

Snoop Dogg as Jason, Bogey, Chong, and more!

2009-10-10T23:25:00.002-04:00

Just found this awesome awesome awesome account on yoostar.com. I thought this product was really stupid, but I can admit where I was wrong! Sure, I'll never use the thing myself, but if it allows me to watch Snoop act his ass off in all the classic roles I'm all for it!

http://www.yoostar.com/userView.html?id=446

Love Exposure

2009-10-07T14:04:00.005-04:00

I came across a Japanese film today that has some very positive buzz. The film is called Love Exposure. So what is the movie about? Well, it's a 4 hour movie about people taking pictures of panties. I'm sure there's more to the movie than that, but that's as much as I can figure out from the trailer and the scene below from youtube:

Click here for a scene from the film.

On its own that scene would be merely pretty funny stuff. Nothing too important to write about, but just trying to envision a 4 hour movie containing that scene makes me very interested to see this film. Apparently the movie was originally 6 hours! Thank you once again Japan!

New Ruling To Expose Fraudulent Reviews

2009-10-06T22:18:00.005-04:00

Now this isn't related specifically to movies per say, but it will certainly have an effect on them. Anyway there has been a new ruling that the Federal Trade Commission will regulate advertising on the internet. What this specifically entails is that anybody reviewing a product on the internet must disclose whether or not they have been paid or have received gifts for doing so. I wonder if movie reviews will start to be of a less positive nature once this ruling becomes in effect. I know lots of people like to claim certain reviewers have given positive reviews in exchange for some kind of compensation. I guess we'll see if there is any change come December. Bring on the allegations/lawsuits!

The news can be found at this link here.

Friday the 13th Part 2 The 13th Friday The 13th Movie

2009-10-02T23:26:00.002-04:00

Will slash its way through movie screens Friday August 13th 2010!

The Crazies Trailer

2009-10-02T14:04:00.003-04:00

http://bit.ly/spGG8

Aside from the typical horror trailer beats (cutting in and out of the picture, certain musical cues) the movie looks like a good Romero remake. The original is pretty good if you haven't seen it. I'd rank it somewhere between Knightriders and Martin. That is to say it's below Night and Dawn, but above Day and Land (haven't seen Diary). Anyway, I think this remake could end up better or at least on par with the original judging from the trailer. Either way I look forward to checking this one out.

Still wish they hadn't screwed up that Day of the Dead remake. I never actually saw it mind you, but from the trailer I could tell it was just as bad or worse than the original. If anything could have used a redo it was Day of the Dead. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Pirates: Venturing into new waters?

2009-10-02T13:28:00.004-04:00

Rumor has it that the next Pirates movie may be Johnny Depp's last. However that doesn't mean that the Pirates movies will end with his departure. The consensus if IMDB's poll today is any indication is that people don't want a Depp-less Pirates movie. Me? I'm all for it.

You see back before the first Pirates movie came out no one knew what to think of it. I know I went into the theater with low expectations, but hoping that even if the movie was not "good" it would still be entertainingly bad. Well, we all know how that one turned out. The first Pirates was nearly unanimously agreed upon as a fun time at the cinema.

Of course a large part of that had to do with the performance of Johnny Depp. Some say he is the only entertaining part of the movie or at least of the two sequels. I liked all three movies personally and what intrigues me about a Depp-less Pirates movie is the same thing that intrigued me about the original film.

Like I said before I wasn't sure going into POTC: The Curse of the Black Pearl whether or not I was about to see something genuinely good or laughably bad. I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was the former. So when I went to see the sequels I had a completely different mindset going in. I already knew that I liked the characters and the world they had created so I wasn't surprised when I ended up liking the sequels.

Taking Depp out of the equation will bring back the element of surprise that the first movie had. Without him (and possibly without any of the other characters we have been introduced to so far) the movie will be a mystery. It could go horribly wrong for sure like if they tried to create a new Jack Sparrow character. Instead what I want to see is a new original character on the same level of quality as Jack Sparrow, but of a completely different nature. Can the makers of the film pull it off? I have no idea, but I'd sure like to see them try.

I know I can't be the only one who hates when sequels just rehash the same ideas over and over again. I know other people out there recognize when characters go stale. Some people I'm sure already say that about the Pirate's franchise so what do the movies have to lose by giving us something new? Shouldn't we as an audience embrace new characters and ideas? Isn't that how we got the first Pirates movie in the first place? I say we should let them venture into new waters and hop along to see if there might be some new treasures to be found.

The Evil Power of Laugh Tracks

2009-09-25T13:43:00.002-04:00

Laugh tracks are evil. They control our minds and tell us what to think. Some have fought against them, but still they continue to thrive. They must be stopped. Sure, you might think you are safe. You might think that laugh tracks can't control YOU. Oh, but you're wrong. They can and they will. Just try and not laugh during this video below:

See, you laughed.

3D Movies

2009-09-21T22:38:00.003-04:00

So 3D is the new craze right now. Everything is at least rumored at some point to be in 3D. My question is can anything top THIS?

Scary New Poster For Fantastic Mr. Fox!

2009-09-19T16:07:00.005-04:00

Click here if you dare!

Personally I think it looks more like the next movie from Minoru Kawasaki, the director of such films as The Calamari Wrestler and The Executive Koala, than a new children's movie, but maybe that's just me.

What do you think? I actually am quite interested in this new Wes Anderson movie. I always like to see people trying their hand at some stop motion animation. I'm pretty sure I read the story when I was little, but honestly don't remember anything about it. Also I just really like Owen Wilson.

This year has been a good one for movies that can appeal to all ages. I enjoyed Up, Ponyo, and have heard nothing but good things about Coraline (it's on my Netflix queue don't worry). Now we have both a Wes Anderson movie and a Spike Jonze movie coming as well! Let's hope this movie trend continues.

And speaking of Spike Jonze:

The Search For Cinematic Perfection: A Hopeless Journey?

2009-09-18T23:10:00.008-04:00

Some directors are never satisfied. Ever since the invention of DVD's this has become abundantly clear. A countless number of movies now have countless different versions to choose from. In some cases the movie you have seen in theaters may have never even made its way to DVD (Last of The Mohicans is one example). The question that I pose is what qualifies as justification for a reworking of an existing film?

By now it should be clear to anyone who reads this blog that I am a fan of Mamoru Oshii. To help answer the question at hand I will use as example his upcoming release of Ghost in the Shell 2.0. Ghost in the Shell is one of the most well known anime films in the U.S. as it was one of the first to be widely released in the U.S. It is also still one of the most well liked anime films of all time. The influence of the film is undeniable. It has also spawned another movie and a two season television series as well as a sequel Manga.

So why exactly does this movie need a new version? As far as I know the story that was intended to be told was the one we got on screen the first time through. So if there weren't major deleted scenes or things that couldn't be done at the time what exactly is the intention of this new version?

Well, having seen some footage of it it would appear that the only intention is to upgrade some of the animation. To me this only creates problems that never existed in the first place. First off there is the matter of will the new animation blend well with the old? Then there is the question of what happens when this new animation itself gets old some years down the line? Does the director then go back and make an even newer version? Will the newer versions then become the ones collected throughout the years? Will the original version over time be forgotten and left as a memory of the DVD era of home video?

Really it seems to me that upgrading a movie in this way is pointless. I personally like to watch the animation of the time the film was made because it puts everything into perspective. It might not look as good as the animation of today, but the animation is a representation of the best that could be put together at the time it was made. In this case the animation from the original was also really good to begin with so it makes it even more strange that anyone would want to change it at all. The animation is certainly not something to be ashamed of.

The other reason that this just doesn't seem to make much sense is how the new animation will only become old over time. There is no way a movie can keep up with each new technological advancement that comes along. The only way to do so would be to keep updating the movie over and over and over again. However, especially in the case of this film in which it was already good to begin with, what is the point? Even if a movie could be updated over and over and over again wouldn't the movie at some point become something completely different from what the original film was?

Below is a comparison of Ghost in the Shell and Ghost in the Shell 2.0. Personally I think the new CGI looks great, but when juxtaposed with the original animation it looks completely out of place. The other thing to note is the drastic change in color scheme. To me the orange colors in the new version simply look worse. In this case I really don't see why the new version needed to be made. Especially with the sequel anime movie and TV show already providing a look at this universe with the newer animation of today. Wasn't that enough? Personally, I think the road to cinematic perfection is never-ending and that anyone who dares journey down it would be better left using their time with something else. What do you think?

Also take a look at the video below for a comparison of the two versions of Ghost in the Shell:

Fight Smack In The Orphanage!

2009-09-16T16:01:00.001-04:00

http://www.fightsmackintheorphanage.org/

Twitter: Taking souls since 2009

2009-09-14T19:54:00.006-04:00

For all of you who were wondering if that was really me you saw on Twitter yes it is. For those of you who don't know you can find me at http://twitter.com/RealMagicMike. Yup, it's me. Follow me...or be that guy who doesn't. You're move. The ball is in your court. Game, Set, and Match. Checkmate. King me. He shoots, he scores! Goaaaaaallllllll!

P.S.
I am still going to be blogging right here. Twitter is just an added bonus.

P.P.S.
Sorry for all of you who can't read more than 140 words. This post was not for you.

P.P.P.S
Actually this post is under 140 words. It's safe to read.

P.P.P.P.S
Unless it is 140 characters. If that's the limit then I'm well over that by now. So maybe you should take caution reading this. Although it's probably already too late. I hope your brain hasn't exploded or anything.

Christoph Waltz in Green Hornet: Lame Casting?

2009-09-14T15:45:00.002-04:00

Look, I LOVED Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds much as the rest of the world did. Part of the reason I loved him so much though was because I had never ever seen this man before. He came out of nowhere and surprised me. Also, it helped that he was an incredible screen presence.

So now he is cast as the villain in the Green Hornet. Is it just me or is that the laziest most bland casting ever? Yes, this guy played an amazing villain before, but why does that mean he has to play one again? Sure, I don't know how similar this villain will be to his character in Inglorious Basterds and maybe they will be completely different. However, just looking at the fact that he is playing a villain again makes me a little irritated.

It's not that I don't think he can do a good job. It's that I KNOW he will do a good job. That's the problem. I don't like when movies play it safe. I want something surprising. I want something new. Maybe his character in the film will provide that, but right now I just want to see him play something different.

Now, Nicolas Cage on the other hand I think would have been perfect. Any chance for Cage to unleash his craziness in the way only villains can is a chance that should not be missed. I don't know why he ended up pulling out of the role, but I personally would have preferred to see him over Waltz.

Is it too late to switch Waltz into the Green Hornet role and Seth Rogen into the bad guy role? Wouldn't that be way more interesting? I'm not sure if I'm kidding or not. I really would like to see an evil Seth Rogen. A suave hero Christoph Waltz doesn't sound bad either though him being the Green Hornet might be a stretch.

What do you think about this Waltz casting? Am I crazy? Is this the perfect match of actor and role? Should I just shut up and wait for the movie to come out before I criticize? What do you think?

Some new trailers of interest

2009-09-11T14:53:00.005-04:00

Confucius say: nothing at all?

Below is the wordless trailer for Chow Yun-Fat's new Chinese movie Confucius. Does the movie look good? Maybe. Would I see it if Chow Yun-Fat wasn't in it? Nope. Will I still see this one anyway? Well, I saw the Children of Huang Shi in theaters so yes.

Click here for a whole lot of epic music

Secondly, I want to mention the teaser trailers for the new French film Lucky Luke. This film is a western spoof starring Jean Dujardin, the star of the very awesome spy spoof OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies. If you haven't seen that movie then please do so and you will have even more reason to look forward to Lucky Luke. Also don't forget that the sequel OSS 117: Lost in Rio comes out this year too!! Hopefully that will make its way to the US soon!

Click here for some bad ass and funny western awesomeness!

Life Imitates Art: Keith Carradine Sings I'm Easy

2009-09-07T00:15:00.004-04:00

The highlight for me in Robert Altman's nearly 3 hour movie Nashville is the 3 minutes where Keith Carradine finally sings and completely steals both the hearts of everyone in the scene and with them the whole movie itself. The song explains everything we need to know about his character who has been built up slowly throughout the movie. The reactions of everyone in the audience as they each decipher their own meaning of his words is pure brilliance on screen. It's a shining moment in a long film packed to the brim with characters.

At the Academy Awards that year this song did not go unnoticed. The song was awarded best song of the year. During this awards show Keith Carradine got on stage to sing this song in front of the audience and the results were much the same as when he did so in the film.

Below is the original version of "I'm Easy" as it appears in the movie. Notice the reactions of all the people in the crowd. Particularly Lily Tomlin. Of course the scene is much better understood in the context of the film so if you haven't seen the movie check it out if only for the build up to this one scene.

Now check out the version Keith Carradine played live at the Academy Awards. Pay attention to the reactions in this one too. Particularly those of James Caan(!) and Carol Burnett.

It's really a great song and Keith Carradine completely nails it on both occasions. He also wrote the song himself for the movie as I believe every actor did for their respective characters in Nashville. Keith Carradine truly is a talented man. Be sure to check out the show Deadwood if you haven't for a whole different kind of brilliance from Keith Carradine.

Boondock Saints II Trailer: Too Little Too Late?

2009-09-03T13:16:00.005-04:00

http://movies.ign.com/dor/objects/26452/the-boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day/videos/boonsaints2_trlr_090209.html

I don't know WHAT to think about this. Back when I first saw The Boondock Saints I would have been all for a sequel. Now I'm just not sure. The first one had that cult appeal of discovering something that not many people really knew about (at least at first). Then it blew up into this big thing and if a sequel had made then it would have at least made sense. However, now it just seems to be coming out of the blue and I just don't know what to think of this trailer.

Oh the boys are back and they are still packing heat, but can this really be as entertaining the second time around? The absence of Willem Dafoe is the first sign that all is not well. No one can replace him or his character so it is disappointing that they even tried. There's also lots of guns blazing, but nothing seen in the trailer seems at all groundbreaking in terms of the action set pieces. Maybe the film will contain something much more elaborate, but from the trailer it's mostly just two guys standing next to each other shooting endlessly.

Another thing to note is the music in the trailer. While I can't name any of the songs in the trailer some did sound familiar to me or at least sounded as if they weren't original to this movie. Part of the lasting appeal of the first movie was discovering what exactly all the songs were in the film and just how to find them as there was never an official soundtrack for the film released. Some of the original film's music came from Troy Duffy's band The Boondock Saints, but that band has long since disbanded so we can't expect any new tunes from them which is another element that doesn't bode well for the sequel.

Overall, I feel that a sequel to The Boondock Saints could work, but I am not sure if the movie that we are getting is taking the right approach. It just feels like more of the same, but on a smaller scale and without the surprise that only the first film could give the viewer. I'll still give this a view for curiousity's sake, but I just hope that this movie will be a pleasant surprise much like the first was many years ago.

Stan Lee Interview About Marvel Deal

2009-09-02T10:59:00.002-04:00

Just listen to the way Stan Lee pauses to say "Time Jumpers" in that same super enthusiastic voice with which he speaks about any of his characters.

Click Here for the video.

New Mamoru Oshii Live Action Craziness

2009-09-01T18:36:00.003-04:00

I've spoke before about my love for all things Mamoru Oshii and now there is a trailer for his next live action film Assault Girl. It looks pretty over the top and very different from what I would expect from Oshii. I think this movie will be much less action packed then the trailer and title seem to indicate. Or at the very least I think the movie will have a deeper subtext than most of these crazy Japanese action spectacles do. Or maybe Oshii is just going all out action on us. Maybe he is done with all of his super seriousness.

If you've ever seen an interview with him you'll know just how serious he is. The guy is so humorless that it somehow creates more humor than if he even tried to be funny. Has he finally learned to have some fun or is this trailer just misleading? Does he realize his serious persona and is merely just making something like this to surprise people? Or is he just fooling us with the title and trailer and giving us something more in line with the Oshii that we have come to expect?

Some of Oshii's earlier work like the Patlabor OAV's, the first Patlabor movie, and his first two live action films The Red Spectacles and Stray Dogs involved large amounts of comedy so maybe he is just getting back in touch with that side of himself. Sometimes I feel that Oshii has always been a fun and funny man, but that he just takes things super seriously for an intended comic effect. His movie Stray Dogs seems to support that theory.

Well I don't know what really goes on in Oshii's head, but I do know that I love what comes out of it. His live action movies that I have seen have all been entertaining in different ways and most of his anime has had the same effect on me. I look forward to seeing this new movie and I hope he has much more coming on the horizon.

Disney Bought Marvel?!

2009-08-31T10:43:00.007-04:00

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42204

Wow I just don't know what to think here. How will this effect all the Marvel properties? What influence will Disney have on all of these characters? What will happen to the Universal Studios theme park Marvel Superhero Island? The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride there is AMAZING. Is that going to be shut down completely? What will Universal do with all of that land if it shuts down? Will Disney add a Marvel Land to their theme parks? Would the attractions be the same or would they have to change them?

What about all those comics? Disney isn't known for putting their name on adult things, but some of those Marvel comics aren't so kid friendly.

And of course, of course, what does this mean for all the movies being made by Marvel Studios? Does Disney have any power over them with decision making?

Is this a good move? For Disney? For Marvel? For Both? For us? For no one?

As Donald Sutherland once asked in Clerks The Animated Series:

Who benefits?

I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Just imagine how funny any of the marvel characters would be in some Disney-fied animated movie with music by Elton John or Phil Collins.

When Does A Movie Have To Be Realisitc?

2009-08-26T01:19:00.009-04:00

Realism in film has always created heated discussions between people. There are countless arguments about countless films in which people debate whether or not such and such a character's actions are "realistic" or not. This debate usually comes into play when action movies ("No one could fire a gun like that and hit anything!") or horror movies ("I sooooo would have ran away right there and escaped!") are involved. What I want to discuss today however is not the quality of realism seen in any movie, but rather the question of whether realism is even needed in the first place.

Movies by nature are fake. If a movie is scripted then right from the first word written there is a lie at hand. Even a documentary can never truly be real. The subjects of said documentary will always be aware of the camera's presence and thus they can never truly be natural. Even in a hidden camera situation the person placing the camera is doing so for a specific reason to find a certain kind of response. Whenever a camera is involved there will always be a level of reality stripped away.

On the other hand if a movie is pure fantasy then what is there for the audience to connect with? If everything is a lie and there is not one bit of truth then how can the audience find anything to relate to? This is where the quest for realism in film begins. The audience needs a sense of reality to be able to connect with a film.

However, as said before film can never truly be real. The audience knows this, but doesn't want to know this. It is the movie's job to hide this from the audience as much as possible. The less of the lie someone sees the more they are able to believe in its truth and when something is thought to be true there is a bigger emotional weight put on it. If a whole country is blown up in a movie it's just for entertainment, but if we believe that it's real it's a horrifying event. A good movie can sell us this lie and make us believe in what we are seeing on screen if only for just a moment.

So the higher the sense of reality in a film, the higher the emotional investment in its world. With this in mind one could say that films should be as real as possible. For if this reality makes us more involved with a film then we should want more of it, right? The problem then comes with the nature of the real world itself.

The reality that we know simply is not as interesting as the stories that writers create for the screen. We don't want to see the complete reality of our world projected into a movie theater. Every single person on this planet lives that reality every single day. No one wants to pay to see what they have already seen. It is here where the debate of realism in film really comes to play.

As movie watchers we need realism to connect with the films we watch, but if we get too much why should we watch in the first place? We need something that isn't real to get us into the seat. We need something worth paying for. We need crazy action scenes, perfect love stories, and tales in the land of make believe. So where is it that the line must be drawn from reality and fantasy? When is it okay for something to be cinematic and something to be realistic?

This weekend I went and saw Quentin Tarantino's new movie Inglorious Basterds. In the first scene I was immediately drawn in to this realistic scenario of a Nazi officer questioning a dairy farmer on the location of some missing Jews. By the end of the movie I was howling with laughter at the many comedic touches that Quentin Tarantino utilized throughout the film. If this were the real story of World War II I wouldn't have been laughing, but in Quentin Tarantino's hands it is a whole other matter. With Inglorious Basterds he ignores history and instead tells his own made up story of how World War II went down. So he takes away the reality that we know to be true and yet somehow the film is still enjoyable.

Just yesterday I went to the theater and saw Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker. This is a war movie of a whole other breed from Quentin Tarantino's film. The Hurt Locker is almost always serious and while it features fictional characters it is based in a very real war and doesn't attempt to change the outcome of which we know to be true. Instead the audience is faced with a sense of the real day to day goings on of an American Army bomb squad in Iraq. There is no movie plot line to be found in this film and yet I and many others have come to love this film.

After seeing The Hurt Locker I came home and went to the discussion boards on IMDB to find everyone arguing over whether such and such scene is realistic or not. Cries of "A soldier would never do that!" can be found all over the discussion boards. While I think it's safe to say that Inglorious Basterds is much more unrealistic in terms of World War II history than The Hurt Locker is to the Iraq War it is still The Hurt Locker that gets the criticism. This brings me back to my original question.

When does a movie have to be realistic? Both Inglorious Basterds and The Hurt locker are scripted films of which we know to be lies. Therefore shouldn't both movies be allowed the same amount of reality and fantasy? Why is it okay for one movie to give us large helpings of fantasy while another is blasted for having a much smaller amount?

Maybe one movie being closer to our present reality gives it a bigger responsibility to stay as real as possible. If that's true then when is the point in which a movie can be more fantastical? At what point can a movie rewrite history such as Inglorious Basterds does?

I don't know the answers to these questions and I'm not sure there is one true answer, but watching these drastically different stories of war has made me question just what kind of reality is needed in a certain situation.

When do you think a movie can cross the line into fantasy? How far should a movie go to become realistic? Do certain kinds of movies need to be more real than others or is anything game as long as it's entertaining? When does a movie have to be realistic?

Avatar Day Review

2009-08-21T21:00:00.007-04:00

The general consensus of my theater seemed to be that the footage was disappointing and not worth it. When the lady collecting the 3D glasses asked how would you rank it on a scale of 1 to 10 a man said "6.5". All the grumblings I could hear were not positive and I seemed to sense a collective groan from a large portion of the audience when the footage concluded.

So what does all of this say about how Avatar is going to be received when it comes out in December? Not much I would wager. I think the reactions I experienced were mostly due to the shortness (16 minutes to be exact) and randomness of the footage presented (all scenes from the first half of the movie Mr. Cameron assured us, but also all footage without any continuity.) People simply wanted more, but that is not what James Cameron was offering.

Honestly, people should have known and I think for the most part probably did know what they were getting into. 16 Minutes of footage from James Cameron's new movie. That's what he promised and that's what we got. I heard someone mention that he thought the footage would be the first 16 minutes of the movie, but that was just an assumption on his part that he got wrong. Just 16 random minutes of a movie that is coming out in December. That is what James Cameron promised and that is what he delivered.

So how was the footage? Well I'm not going to explain what the footage actually was because I don't see much point. I will tell you what I felt while watching it. In terms of the 3D I felt at first it was a little sub par, but as the footage went on I felt it got much better. In the end I would say the 3D wasn't the best I've seen nor the worst. Some of the 3D looked good and some did not. Of course on the Imax screen everything was incredibly huge and the sound was top notch. As for the actual content story and acting wise I have to say everything looked promising. I don't think the story is going to be the most groundbreaking ever seen, but it sure looks fun and interesting. Besides it's a new James Cameron sci-fi spectacle. That should always be enough.

If I had to rank what I saw on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd rank it an 8. It delivered what it promised and gave me a much better insight into what kind of movie Avatar may actually be. I'm still eagerly anticipating its arrival this December. This could be something really special.

Yay to Avatar Day!!!!

2009-08-18T01:27:00.004-04:00

At just before 11 pm I was sent my email confirmation from Fox for my reservation for Avatar Day!!! Now I get to go all the way to the 3D Imax theater in the magical land of Jordan's Furniture to see 15 whole minutes of a movie I will be seeing in its entirety this December. This isn't just any movie though. This is the next James Cameron sci-fi action spectacle Avatar!!! In 3D!!! In IMAX!!! I guess the real moral here is to have patience. Things have a way of working themselves out in the long run. Now let's recap this weekends events: 15 minutes of Avatar, the Avatar trailer, and Quentin Tarantino's new movie Inglorious Basterds!!! Thank you movie gods!!!

Yay to Avatar Day?

2009-08-17T18:06:00.002-04:00

My previous post may have been too soon. I found a new link with a set of showtimes in my area including the non AMC real deal big IMAX that I can get to via public transportation. I attempted to reserve tickets and was greeted with a screen telling me I should be getting a confirmation email soon. I haven't got it yet and so now I wait...

Nay To Avatar Day!!!!

2009-08-17T16:30:00.003-04:00

So I made sure to be ready at 12 noon today to get my Avatar Day tickets. My first error was in not realizing it was 12 noon PST not EST which is where I live. No worries there though because I checked an hour before and realized my oversight. The real problem started at 3 pm EST otherwise known as 12 pm PST.

I went to the Avatar website right as the clock hit 3 on my computer. I clicked on the tickets and showtimes link and was brought to a page stating that I was to click below for theaters and showtimes. However there was no list of theaters below to click on. There was only complete darkness. I refreshed the page multiple times and tried different browsers and even different computers, but always got the same black void.

Then came the timeouts. At this point I couldn't even get back to any page on the website. Every time I tried I was given a screen that said my connection had timed out. I figured the site was crashing due to massive amounts of people visiting it at once. My question however was whether or not if I even did get to the tickets page would I still be graced with a blank empty void? Was I the only one experiencing this error?

I searched on the internet to find some answers beyond the pages of avatarmovie.com. Well, I eventually ended up trying my standard movie news website Ain't It Cool News. Sure enough they had a post about how no one could get their avatar day tickets. Everyone had gone through the same process as me. First they were greeted with a seemingly lovely page granting them access to tickets only to be greeted with some kind of sick joke advising the visitor that the tickets and showtimes lay just below in the empty black void. Then everyone started experiencing the timeouts.

Oh, but a small hope was to be found. Apparently on the AMC movie theaters website they were offering a specific link straight to the movie theater showtimes. Many people started amassing boasting of its great success. So I tried the link out. I tried and I tried and I tried again. Then I tried once more and a page finally appeared giving me the option to select my city. Ah, but alas the selection of city did nothing. The page just sat there almost as if it was staring back at me and teasing me and taunting me with empty promises.

Then low and behold I tried the link once more and not only was I able to select my city, but I was able to select my theater and showtime of choice! Oh, how happy I was to finally have conquered this beast! However, all of this time and all of this trouble was for naught. You see I was promised a showing in the city of Boston, but upon looking at the movie theater selections was only graced with theaters of which I have no access to in the greater Boston AREA. Though my favorite AMC theater resides right in the perfect spot in the city of Boston it was apparently not one of the chosen few to be graced by the presence of Avatar.

The moral of the story: If something seems too good to be true then...no no too cliche. Never bother trying to see 16 minutes of a movie that you are going to see in just...no, no, this is James Cameron's AVATAR so that doesn't apply. Hmm, how about Avatar day can go ... no, no, too childish. Maybe the moral lies in forgetting about this whole thing and moving on. Maybe there are other movies to watch. Inglorious Basterds does come out this weekend after all. Ah, it is in this that I have found my moral. Sometimes you have to settle with Inglorious Basterds. Deal with it.

Finally!! No more origin story!!!

2009-08-15T16:31:00.006-04:00

If there is one thing I never ever need to see again it is the origin of Superman. DC comics in particular has this thing where they will not stop retelling origins. The first origins came when the characters were originally introduced in the 30's and so on. Then in the 1980's they decided to restart all of the characters' storylines and thus we got a whole new round of origin stories. This second round happened to be a major improvement over the corny early origins so it can be forgiven.

However, for some reason DC has just kept on with these origin tales ever since. Superman in particular had a whole new series dedicated to retelling the story of his early years. Don't even get me started on Batman. If I have to listen to him go on about how his parents were killed that night in Gotham and how he made a promise ever since one more time well my head just might explode.

All of this isn't even taking into account the various animated tv series', straight to video animated movies, and of course any of the big screen adventures. Superman's first feature length big screen adventure in particular is an important origin tale. For one the first Superman movie made it OK to make a serious adaptation of a comic book character. In terms of the origin story itself it was so good that even the comics adopted the movie version of his origin as its own.

The last big screen Superman movie, Superman Returns, wisely skipped retelling the origin and just continued from where the last Superman movie series left off. Do to the not so successful box office of that movie there has been talk about whether or not a new Superman will follow the lead that Superman Returns set up or whether it will start all over from the origin that everyone already knows. Just when all hope seemed to be lost finally something has happened that may prevent this origin from ever being told on the big screen again.

Due to a new court ruling Warner Brothers may not ever have the rights to the origin story. Not sure how that works or if I am simply misreading something, but that is what the word on the street seems to be. If this is true then I couldn't be happier. Let's hope that this is the case. Maybe now DC comics won't be able to tell the origin as well? I'm not sure exactly how this is all going to pan out, but I can say that I'll be glad if I never hear, see, or read the origin story of Superman ever again.

Check out this link below at ain't it cool news for more info on this court ruling:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42058

Coolest Surprise From Comic-Con

2009-08-10T23:30:00.002-04:00

I know. I know. Comic-con is so over, but there is one thing that I wanted to mention, but didn't get around to until now. AMC debuted a nine minute trailer for their tv miniseries The Prisoner which is a remake of the British television series of the same name from the 60's. The original I watched for the first time last year and was blown away by it.

The way in which that show messes with your mind is just insane. There is so much going on in every scene let alone every episode that the brain is always working on something. The show really gives the viewer a whole lot to think about and there are so many different angles from which to view the episodes that there is still debate about the show's plot points to this day.

So while I certainly think the original should be seen by any who haven't and don't see any necessity for a remake what AMC has delivered is quite impressive. Changing the show to the miniseries format almost makes it certain that it won't reach the heights of madness that the original show did (for example now there is only one number 2 to contend with), but the acting and overall feel seems to be spot on in this remake.

I do recommend giving the original a try first because it really can't be replicated in full (and the creators of this remake are wise to realize this by updating most of the more 60's styles). I believe all the episodes of the original are even available for free viewing on the AMC website right now. Either way I think this remake looks to be a very very well done piece of work. Below is linked the 9 minute trailer if you so desire. Be seeing you.

http://www.amctv.com/videos/the-prisoner/?bcpid=19921019001&bclid=27232151001&bctid=30345659001

How To Make A Blah Movie Interesting

2009-08-09T19:18:00.000-04:00

Just add John C. Reilly.

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3795386905/

John Hughes Is Dead

2009-08-06T17:07:00.007-04:00

John Hughes has died of a heart attack today. He may have stopped making cool stuff a long time ago, but he is still responsible for the whole Hughesian genre of film. Let's forget about all those dog movies and take a moment to remember today at least one unforgettable moment from his movies.

The first scene to come to my mind was the one seen in the video below at 7:02:

and also I now can't get the Weird Science theme out of my head:

National Lampoon's Vacation, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Some Kind of Wonderful, Uncle Buck. That's an awesome list of credits to have to your name. Hell, I even enjoy Dutch and Career Opportunities has its moments (all involving Jennifer Connelly). John Hughes may no longer live among us, but I like to think that his films will live on for an eternity.

Lost in VHS Hell Part 13: Roadracers

2009-08-04T18:14:00.011-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 12: Tougher Than Leather

2009-08-03T17:05:00.007-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 11: Rawhead Rex

2009-08-02T19:13:00.005-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 10: TerrorVision

2009-07-29T19:51:00.017-04:00

So the time has finally come. I have hunted down my VCR and am dusting it off for an excursion into the land of VHS. I know what you're thinking "isn't VHS obsolete?" and if we were talking about video quality you would be very correct. However there is a reason to not throw away that VCR if you haven't already. You might think everything is on DVD now, but you'd be wrong. There are still films that have yet to see a release onto Digital Versatile Disc and instead are stuck in the special kind of hell known as Video Home System. In this new segment I pledge to take a trip back to this land in search of the rare films that you absolutely won't be adding to your Netflix queue.

For the tenth installment (woohoo! Double digits!) I have looked into the eyes of the often alleged "Worst Movie Ever Made!" TerrorVision.

Ah, TerrorVision. There was a time where a day would not pass without me hearing this movie's name. Not because it was being heaped with high praise, but because it was the scorn of so many viewers' fury as it was constantly proclaimed as the worst movie ever made. With such words proclaimed for this film there was only one thing I could do: watch it! Unfortunately I quickly realized that this film is only available on VHS tape. Well, off to Amazon.com I went and immediately purchased myself a copy. That was a couple years ago. Only today did I have the shear will power to sit down and stare straight into the face of the possible "Worst Movie Ever Made."

TerrorVision is directed by low budget movie dude Ted Nicolaou who has directed other low budget affairs such as Chopping Mall, Bad Channels (another VHS purchase of mine), one segment of Dungeonmaster, and a promising sounding movie yet to be released entitled The Cheeseburger Manifesto (YAY for Food Focused Movie Titles!). The movie stars mostly stars unknowns with the exception of that guy who lived in the closet in Real Genius (also the dad of Ben Linus on Lost) named Jonathan Gries and the Roger Corman go to actress Mary Woronov. The FX in this film are done by John Carl Buechler, low budget fx go to guy, and director of Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood, a segment of The Dungeonmaster, and the original Troll.

So I pop in the tape today to finally begin my journey and I am hit with a message on the screen. The message reads: "Tape head neads to be cleaned. Please insert tape cleaner or see VCR manual." Ah, the wonders of VHS. Well, seeing as I didn't have any kind of tape cleaner I was out of luck, but taking a cue from previous VHS Hell entry No Retreat, No Surrender, I decided that I was not ready to give up! So I took a cue from the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System and proceeded to blow into both the tape and the VCR. Just to be sure I also applied the age old never failing technique of simply bashing the hell out of both objects. I popped the tape back in, hit play, and what do you know the movie comes right on with no more problems.

The movie begins on a spaceship as some alien sends out this other alien out of his spaceship. Why he does this is a mystery, but it's also what sets the plot in motion so just go with it. The just launched alien then is shown in some low budget animation bouncing off various things in space like a ball in a pinball machine. I guess this is supposed to alert the viewer that this movie has a sense of humor. Unfortunately I wasn't laughing. Next we get the credits sequence with a kind of lower grade B-52's-ish title song that grates on you in the same kind of way that a B-52's-ish song can (actually the first B-52's album is really cool, but most of their other stuff I don't care for and they are annoying to many). Anyway, after the credits the movie begins once again.

We are now introduced to the Putterman family. The mom is trying to work out, but the dad is trying to install a new satellite for their TV and the workout channel turns off. The mom then goes to her husband and starts arguing with him. The dad keeps trying to fix the satellite until finally a bolt of lightning hits the satellite and the TV starts to work perfectly. Everybody is satisfied and all their TV problems are solved, but at what cost?

Later the son and the grandfather of the family are left alone to watch TV. A channel suddenly appears during their TV watching featuring a monster of some kind. They stare at it at first and admire how cool it looks, but when it doesn't do anything and the camera merely lingers on it for eternity they get bored and want to change the channel. Eventually the monster appears right in front of them in their house and the grandpa is the first victim of this alien creature.

The alien creature itself actually looks pretty impressive. Well pretty is actually not a word I would ever imagine saying about this creature because it certainly is very gross looking, but the FX from Buechler delivers the goods. Sure its not the coolest looking thing, but it is effectively weird and gross looking.

What proceeds next is a series of those dreadful scenes in which a character keeps telling everyone that something is going on, but no one believes it. In this case the character is the son and he is trying to explain to his mom how there is a monster and it has killed grandpa. Unfortunately the heads of this alien's victims are able to pop out of its body and talk so as to fool people such as the mom into thinking that the grandpa is still alive. The son gets locked into the room with the "grandpa" who is really the alien and surely he is going to be next to go.

Somehow though the kid is not killed right then and there. I'm not sure why, maybe I zoned out a little bit here, but for some reason the alien doesn't kill him and I believe just disappears. So the kid is still locked in the room and is watching some TV. On the screen is the host of a horror movie television show who is dressed up like Medusa. For some reason that I can't seem to recall why she ends up addressing the kid personally. She tells the kid whose name is Sherman "Sherman your time has run out."

Then the video stopped. The screen went black right after that line and I thought to myself this is some kind of sign. Maybe someone is trying to warn me not to proceed any further. This was the second time the video had crapped out and at this point in the film I wasn't really convinced of any reason to put the tape back in. Still, I wasn't ready to give up just yet. I took the tape out and once again gave it the old NES cartridge technique as well as the "if it's broke, bash it to hell" tried and true formula for successful repair. Once again the trick worked and the movie was back on track.

At this point in the movie the viewer is treated to another series of those dreadful scenes in which a character keeps telling everyone that something is going on, but no one believes it. In this case it applies to the son Sherman after he blows his way out of his grandpa's room with explosives and is trying to explain to his sister how there is a monster in the house. The sister and the brother end up going to their parents room to tell them, but what they don't know is their swinging parents and the other swinging couple they were with have both already been victim to the alien creature. Luckily, the alien's power to be able to somehow reveal its victim's head and make it talk comes to use once again while the rest of its body hides under the covers. This scene gets really weird as the grandpa's head eventually pops out from under the covers too implying he is part of this couple swinging action with his own daughter and son-in-law. The brother and sister find it gross and leave, but really they don't seem as disturbed by it as they should and that is the most disturbing part of all.

So at this point in the movie I am getting tired of all these scenes of disbelief and drawn out alien killing. I'm ready for that alien to just kill all these people in one glorious moment and end the film once and for all.

Next, the alien much to my enjoyment appears in front of the brother, sister, and her boyfriend all at the same. Finally, no more disbelief, and straight to the alien massacre. As all the characters cower in front of the alien as it comes towards them I know that they will all be dead soon and the movie will be over in no time. The sister's boyfriend puts his hands in front of his face as he is about to be eaten. Then the alien doesn't eat him. No, instead the movie moves to a flashback in which we see hands petting the alien, hands of a man whose wrists are adorned with the same metal attire as the W.A.S.P. loving boyfriend. I can honestly say I didn't see that one coming.

What proceeds next is a series of scenes in which the three remaining humans try to teach the alien how to say certain words and show it things like TV and metal music. This to me was a very welcome and unexpected change of pace for the movie. The three decide that they can make money off of this alien and everything seems to be going rather well. Everything except for that pesky other alien who keeps popping up on the TV throughout the film explaining how dangerous this alien is.

Of course the evil alien then sees the good TV alien on the screen and flips out. The good alien luckily then decides to appear out of nowhere (why couldn't he do this before?) and the evil alien disappears. The threat is diminished and all is well except that the good alien was not the only unexpected visitor. The real unexpected visitor is the medusa dressed host of the TV show who for some unknown reason appears at the house looking for a party. She mistakenly kills the good alien thinking she is saving the day and then the brother and sister inform her that they are now all doomed. The evil alien returns and this turns out to be true.

Final Analysis: So now that I've spoiled the whole movie for you in this plot synopsis disguised as a movie review I think it's about time I answered the burning question of the day: "Is this in fact the worst film ever made?" The short answer to that question is no. I have seen worse movies. The film isn't good by any means and part of me does wish I had just gave up at either points of tape malfunctioning to get back precious time of my life. However I have to admit that I did not see the alien friendship angle being utilized and the film gives me more respect for FX maker Buechler whose work on this film is still top notch despite the quality of the rest of the production. The film however is not near the quality of the VHS only classic The Dungeonmaster featuring work from both Beuchler, Ted Nicolau, and an appearance by W.A.S.P nor is it near the quality of other Nicolau directed movies such as Bad Channels and Chopping Mall.

Verdict: This movie is not the worst movie ever made, but it is overall a painful, odd, bore of a watch. For these reasons I can come to no other conclusion, but to make sure this movie burns in VHS hell for the rest of eternity!

Fallon At Comic-Con

2009-07-28T17:29:00.002-04:00

I figure since Comic-Con is mostly a movie convention now that I should reference it in some way in this blog (Comics are cool too by the way). I don't have any groundbreaking news to tell you because I wasn't anywhere near San Diego, but I do have a funny video to show you that combines both the comic and movie side of Comic-Con. This video aired last night on Jimmy Fallon and features Fallon and many other celebrities as he pitches a new comic book idea. It's hilarious stuff!

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Lost in VHS Hell Part 9: I Come In Peace AKA Dark Angel

2009-07-27T01:01:00.011-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 8: Midnight Ride

2009-07-21T16:52:00.009-04:00

Music Videos: The Horrible Truth

2009-07-20T16:53:00.003-04:00

After looking back into one of the oddities of the music video era last Friday with Green Jello's video album Cereal Killer I couldn't help, but think to how the music video is a lost art form. The M in MTV no longer stands for Music (however no one knows what it now stands for) and the always strangely titled Video Hits One makes even less sense than it ever did. Instead music videos are relegated mostly to the internet or more specifically youtube where they may or may not become some kind of internet sensation. In fact it has been a long time since I came across any new music videos being talked about or promoted on the web. One might think that music videos simply don't exist anymore. Maybe there are still music videos but they just don't get the same promotion as before? The truth my dear readers is much much more sinister.

Music videos are not dead. Music videos are alive...but absolutely not well. Today I came across on the web proof that music videos are still being made and have discovered the reason that they are not more widely seen. In the link I am providing to you below you will see that not only are music videos in a state of critical condition but the few hopeless souls who have made them are in dire need of immediate assistance. The songs and videos below are of the most terrifying in nature. Sure there are laughs to be had (especially in the baffling change in song style towards the end of the last video), but really this is just a sad affair. Click on the link below if you dare to look straight into the eyes of a dying art form:

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/funny-music-videos-072009

Lost in VHS Hell Part 7: Cereal Killer

2009-07-17T22:08:00.005-04:00

Inside The True Blood Opening Credits

2009-07-14T21:50:00.002-04:00

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE True Blood right now. Right about episode 3 of this season I realized that no matter what character is on the screen I am always interested in what is going on. The town in True Blood has many different characters populating it and all of them are fascinating. There are so many stories going on for each character and all of them are great from the vampires dealing with human hunters all the way down to the reliable cook nervous about having to run the bar by himself. It's just fantastic television through and through. Today I would like to shine a light on Digital Kitchen, a website that has taken a look behind the making of the opening titles that perfectly set the tone for this great show. Click below to see the website:

http://www.d-kitchen.com/projects/True-Blood-Main-Title

Entourage is Back!

2009-07-13T02:19:00.003-04:00

HBO's Entourage started it's sixth season Sunday night! For those of you who still aren't caught up with this show CLICK HERE for a video recap. Let's hope this season brings more of the same great stuff!!!

Fanedits: Taking the Power Back or Taking Things Too Far?

2009-07-12T01:33:00.009-04:00

Every moviegoer has had that moment. The moment where they think to themselves at the end of a film "If only they had done this..." or "If only they HADN'T done that..." Sometimes these things are what keep a good movie from becoming great. Some are little problems and some are big. What the community at fanedit.org seek out to do is take all of these problems big or small and fix them resulting in the ultimate fan cut of the most problematic, but popular films.

In one of the most celebrated edits, T3: The Coming Storm, the creator has sought out to take out all of the comical bits of Terminator 3 to give the movie a more serious tone. This edit gets high marks from most for both having seamless editing and for changing the overall tone of the movie to something more in line with what these fans were looking for. Personally, I enjoyed the theatrical version of the movie enough as is even with the comical dialogue and the one much maligned comical song. So while I wouldn't personally be excited for this new fanedit, I can see that there clearly are people who feel differently and thus I see the purpose of such an edit.

Now let's look at another fanedit, Batman Begins: Dark Cut. In this edit the creator sought to make "A more streamlined version of Batman Begins, with fewer cheesy jokes, less un-Batman-like behavior and, most importantly, a more tolerable Katie Holmes."

Personally I have not watched any of these fanedits so I can't comment on the quality of them myself. However, this edit has achieved mostly reviews from around the 8-9 out of 10 variety. It has also been awarded the fanedit of the month.

So while there certainly does seem to be acclaim for this edit I can't help but feel that this one is really unnecessary. I mean the creator of this edit wants to make Katie Holmes more tolerable, but her acting has already been done. You can't change her performance and to take her dialogue out would certainly take some of her character out of the film which is never a good thing. Even more important is that Batman Begins was already a well received film in the first place. I just don't see a real need to go back and mess with something that the majority of people already enjoyed well enough.

This brings us to our next edit The Dark Knight Remixed by Jorge. In this edit the creator seeks to take viewers on a new "ride" as he puts it by editing the scenes in a new manner. The creator gives the argument that The Dark Knight was too long and people were exhausted by the time Harvey Dent's story really came about in the film. In his version he seeks to put more emphasis early on in the film towards the two-face plot line. To achieve this effect Jorge has edited the film "Memento Style" in which Harvey's story is presented backwards and forwards.

Really? Memento style editing for The Dark Knight? Look, I liked Memento as much as the next guy, but The Dark Knight is not Memento and thus should not be edited in the same manner. While we're at it I also liked The Dark Knight as much as the next guy which means that I see no reason for the movie to be messed with at all. What exactly were the problems again in this universally acclaimed movie? I mean critics and audiences alike finally were able to unanimously agree on something for once and now we have to threaten even that bond? Can't we all just agree to let this movie stand on its own as they originally made it? Not every movie needs multiple versions. The director and even the studio don't feel the need to put out a different cut for once. Hell, it may not have won Best Picture, but Heath still got his award so that must mean something! Can't we just leave this one alone?

While some edits might seem pointless some are just absurd. This leads us to the next edit Caddyshack: No Respect. Seriously the guy who made this edit must have some kind of secret vendetta against Rodney Dangerfield because in this edit the creator seeks out to remove every bit of Rodney from the classic comedy.

Am I the only one who had no idea of the hatred towards Dangerfield in Caddyshack? Does it even really exist? I believe that this creator is either insane, jealous, or had a bad run in with Dangerfield somewhere in his lifetime. That is the only explanation for this absurd and downright disrespectful (pun not intended?) version of the comedy classic Caddyshack. I seriously feel bad for anyone who actually needs this version of the movie.

Not all edits are serious of course. Some have much simpler and fun intentions. Take for example JAWS The Sharksploitation Edit. In this the creator seeks to give Jaws a more grindhouse feel. To do this he adds of course the requisite grain, scratches, and noises. However, he also goes further by inserting things not originally in the film such as footage from Jaws 2 and some documentaries, a disco style theme, and a cheesier ending. Another less serious edit comes in the form of 300: Full Combat edition in which the creator seeks to create a version of the film without any of the story that does not take place on the battlefield.

Searching through Fanedit.org you will also find the more obvious practical edits such as Kill Bill - The Whole Bloody Affair which puts together both volumes of the acclaimed films and of course you will find lots of Lord of the Rings edits. The Peter Jackson versions themselves already had two versions and thus the longtime rings fans have plenty to argue about and work with here. Ultimately though I see the same problem with a Lord of the Rings edit that I do with any of the edits on this site.

The films on this site are all based on something that was already created a certain way for a certain reason. Anyone can try to change a film and mold it into something new and this site gives everyone the opportunity to unleash these creations onto the world. The problem is the creators of these edits are only going to have so much to work with. No fan edit of Lord of the Rings can ever equal the novels. No matter how hard someone tries there will still never be a Tom Bombadil on the screen because it was simply never filmed. So in a way these edits are a futile attempt.

I think overall the edits found on this site give a good example of how power can be used when put in the hands of different people. In some cases I think people take things too far like with the Dangerfield-less Caddyshack. In some cases people are just too nitpicky as with Batman Begins: Dark Cut. With the Dark Knight Remix I start to see that some people just go mad with power. On the other hand edits like the reasonable T3: The Coming Storm, the practical Kill Bill The Whole Bloody Affair and the fun JAWS the Sharksploitation Edit show me how a work of art can be approached in different yet equally plausible ways. While in the end some of these edits may seem a futile attempt it is still interesting to see how one person's passion against a movie can lead to a whole new way to view a film.

Ralph Fiennes Rules!

2009-07-11T17:02:00.001-04:00

http://ukpress.waytoblue.com/distribution/sonypictures/cemeteryjunction/teasertrailer/cemetery_junction_teaser_1500k.mov

Fake Trailer to Become Real Movie

2009-07-10T17:56:00.002-04:00

http://www.cinematical.com/2009/07/09/exclusive-eli-roth-talks-thanksgiving/

So apparently Eli Roth could make Thanksgiving right now if he wanted to. Too bad he is making us wait. With Machete also set to be made in the indefinite future how long is it before Rob Zombie and Edgar Wright finally give us their feature length fake trailer announcements? Anyway I loved the trailer for Thanksgiving, but I'm not sure how the movie will pan out. I liked the similarly comical horror movie Cabin Fever so maybe if he can get some of that magic into this it will turn out good. As for Machete that was born to be a real movie. My advice to Rob Zombie is to get Nic Cage on the phone RIGHT NOW. His trailer only hinted at the greatness to come. As for Edgar Wright? Don't. The trailer was perfect on its own. Plus who would go see it after the trailer so effectively told us not to?

Sacha Baron Cohen Speaks

2009-07-08T16:36:00.003-04:00

http://www.imdb.com/video/cbs/vi970195481/

This is a hilarious story about the making of Bruno told by Sacha Baron Cohen on Letterman. I also realized this is the first time I have actually heard Mr. Cohen speak as himself. I have read a couple interviews he did as himself, but this is the first time I have seen him speak out of character. Apparently he's still a funny guy on his own.

The King of Reboots: A Look Back At GoldenEye

2009-07-07T01:10:00.006-04:00

It seems like every franchise that has ever been is getting a new movie made at this very moment. All the big horror movies and even some obscure ones are due to have new movies hitting theaters within the next few years. Even things that have no reason to enter the movie realm such as the thingamadoo known as The Viewmaster and the plotless video game Asteroids are being shaped right now for movies to be made in the near future. It is in times like these where we must ask ourselves why? Why are we being subjected to such raging stupidity? To find the answer to such a question we must look back to where this all began.

You see there was a time when resurrecting a franchise was a limited, but successful affair (See Sherlock Holmes and James Bond for two examples) and the few products turned into movies weren't horrible ideas (See Clue for how to make a child's game into a movie correctly). The problem now is that the movie studios have taken the cue of these past successes and decided that any established entity be it a film, game, or whatever you call a Viewmaster will be just as successful as those that came before. But Clue already had somewhat of a plot and Holmes and Bond both had many books to grab ideas from.

The point is that there was a time where reboots weren't such a bad thing. Take for example James Bond. Once Sean Connery got tired of playing the part or George Lazenby wasn't Sean Connery or Roger Moore got too old or Timothy Dalton sucked there was always someone else there to take the reigns and give the franchise a new kick start to make sure that James Bond will forever be on the big screen.

This takes us to the year 1995 in which a new Bond would grace the screen once again. This time it was the then mostly small screen actor Pierce Brosnan. The film of course was GoldenEye.

I remember that winter very well as I saw GoldenEye about a thousand times in the theater. Okay, maybe it was more like three or four, but you get the idea. The movie was pretty much the coolest thing ever to me and being that the cheap movie theater in town was only a few blocks from where I lived I couldn't help but watch it again and again. Of course the fact that it also had one of the coolest video games of the time made it only more legendary.

Well, it's not 1995 anymore and I can say I haven't watched GoldenEye in at least 5 years. When the newer James Bond DVDs started rolling out a few years ago (just in time to release even newer ones for the recent Blu-Ray craze) I decided it was time to revisit the film and purchased it while it was still on sale. The movie has sat collecting dust until today when I finally decided enough is enough and that I need to get some GoldenEye back in my life.

So how does the movie fare today? Well, for the most part its just as awesome as I remember. Watching it now though there are some elements that don't hold up as well.

[Warning: There may be spoilers throughout the rest of this review for not only GoldenEye, but Casino Royale. Proceed with caution.]

The first thing I noticed was the car chase towards the opening of the film between Xenia Onatopp (more on that name later). More specifically the thing I noticed is how this chase had no place in the film. Why was this chase happening? I still have no idea. As a kid I never questioned it, but now it just makes no sense. Does Xenia know who James Bond is? Is she trying to kill him? Maybe she just likes playing strange games with strangers? If Onatopp was trying to kill Bond why did she choose such a nonlethal method and why does she not even attempt to finish the job? The comical instance of running into a bike race and the score that sounds straight out of Cool As Ice doesn't help in setting a good tone for the rest of the movie. This is supposed to be slick and cool James Bond not unintentionally hilarious Vanilla Ice.

This all leads us to the first verbal confrontation between James Bond and one of the main villains of the film, Xenia Onatopp. Of course her name is Onatopp because she kills people while on top of them in bed. It would only make sense that her name would happen to accurately describe exactly what she does. Or perhaps it was being given that name by her parents that led her to this life of crime. Maybe had she been given a different name she could have lived a straight and narrow life. Perhaps she even could have been one of the good Bond girls, but nope she is named Onatopp. Thus she kills people while on top of them in the bedroom. Only in a James Bond movie can something like this be acceptable. It kinda comes with the package. Even the Daniel Craig Bond has Strawberry Fields. But back to the confrontation: what exactly was Bond's goal here? Did he know she would kill the admiral? Because the admiral outranked him could he not try to capture or kill Xenia Onatopp? Did he have any idea about what she was planning? If he didn't then why was he there in the first place?

The last gripe I had with the movie upon re-watching it is how convenient everything is for James Bond. In the Daniel Craig Bond movies for example everything always seems stacked against him and he just barely makes it out of every situation alive. There are some conveniences for sure, such as Vesper finding him practically dead in the car and knowing exactly what to do to revive him, but compared to this movie they are nothing.

No way out of the villain's base with all of his soldiers chasing after you and the building about to explode? Oh hey look there is some guy randomly coming out to fly a plane how about I take that and escape! Oh no I couldn't possibly catch up with that, but wait there is a motorcycle right here waiting for me so I can jump off the cliff and get in the plane just in time to fly away to safety. Sure it all adds up to the coolest Bond opening ever, but still it's more than a little convenient.

Then there is the whole tank chase sequence. The tank just happening to be there, being able to find it, and knowing how to use it are just the beginning of the conveniences in this scene. Crashing through buildings with a tank would normally kill lots of innocent people, but here all the buildings are seemingly unoccupied. Even when Bond crushes a car filled with people they are inexplicably seen getting out of the completely demolished car somehow in the next shot. I know Bond is the good guy and it's a PG-13 movie, but if you are going to put a guy into a tank and have him roam around the city crashing into everything you have to take these things into account.

Even James Bond's love scenes are convenient. I say convenient because they certainly don't make any sense. I mean why exactly does Natalya first start gushing all over Bond? Sure he just hopped in a tank and chased not only car, but train to get her back, but they never had any chemistry before and she still wasn't sure whether he had meant it when he said "she means nothing to me." Not exactly words that would make a woman suddenly swoon over a man. Of course for the rest of the movie we just are supposed to forget that she had no reason to fall in love with him and refer back to the scene where she first suddenly starts kissing him as if she loved him all along.

Then there is the end of the movie where I'm still not exactly sure how Boris got that exploding pen. I never questioned it as a kid so I'll give the benefit of the doubt to this movie and say I just missed something, but it still seems pretty convenient. Also I have no idea why Alec doesn't simply shoot Bond when he is hanging at the bottom of the ladder instead of climbing down to kick him. Although that one is a common problem among villains and was even parodied in Austin Powers by way of Dr. Evil and his son Scott.

Well, enough with the criticisms because this movie is still largely a kick ass experience. All the conveniences mentioned above lead to some of the most entertaining and over the top action scenes ever put on film. The opening is the coolest in Bond history and that is saying something. The tank scene is much more cheesy, but still has it's charms. The scenes with Xenia Onatopp doing her business are extremely silly, but at the same time very entertaining.

The villain Alec played by Sean Bean is maybe the best in Bond history. His character is well defined and the acting from Sean Bean is of the highest caliber. As a villain he has it all: the thirst for revenge (not only against Bond, but England as well), a giant laser, a diabolical plan, and most of all the smarts to (almost) pull it off.

The women also fair pretty well in the movie. Xenia Onatopp is quite sexy and disturbing at the same time. Her method of killing is over the top, but so is she. The love interest or Bond Girl as they are known in this universe is appropriately beautiful and this time actually pretty resourceful on her own.

The side characters are also great. Boris, a favorite of mine back in 1995, still shines here in 2009. He is hilarious, a jerk, and completely believable at every turn. Bond's new comical CIA friend (remember: the serious CIA buddy Felix Leiter died in the previous Bond entry) is suitably comical, Valentin is an entertaining side villain, and Q has never been better (though if you can explain to me why that one guy walks into the fake phone booth, why no one seems to really care, or what practical use the booth has in the first place I'd like to know).

Of course then there is James Bond himself, Pierce Brosnan. I've always felt that Brosnan is the best Bond. Whether it's because I grew up watching this very movie that I always think of him as Bond I don't know. I have always felt that he has the best look for Bond. He has the ultimate suave look, but still seems like he could kick ass. Re-watching GoldenEye today has caused me to re-evaluate my opinion. In 1995 I can see why I thought Brosnan to be the best, but now having re-watched his best effort I think I am switching over to the Daniel Craig camp. I still think Brosnan has the best look for Bond, but somehow Craig pulls the character off just a little bit better.

For example there just doesn't seem to be that much depth in Brosnan's Bond. Sure he is super suave and impossibly cool, but all we get here is one scene of him on a beach staring out into nothing while his new girl comes out dressed all sexy to reassure him of his awesomeness. Daniel Craig on the other hand is given a whole movie filled with anger and soul searching all while still being suave and cool when necessary.

Overall, upon re-watching GoldenEye I can still say it proudly rests among my favorite Bond films. In fact I would now put it just below Casino Royale as my number 2 favorite Bond film of all time. This movie is just fun, fun, and fun topped off with a whole other heaping of fun.

So what lesson have I learned from all of this? Judi Dench will never be topped as M, so why even try?

Lost in VHS Hell Part 6: The No Retreat, No Surrender Trilogy

2009-07-03T13:15:00.005-04:00

So the time has finally come. I have hunted down my VCR and am dusting it off for an excursion into the land of VHS. I know what you're thinking "isn't VHS obsolete?" and if we were talking about video quality you would be very correct. However there is a reason to not throw away that VCR if you haven't already. You might think everything is on DVD now, but you'd be wrong. There are still films that have yet to see a release onto Digital Versatile Disc and instead are stuck in the special kind of hell known as Video Home System. In this new segment I pledge to take a trip back to this land in search of the rare films that you absolutely won't be adding to your Netflix queue.

For the 6th venture into the land of VHS we take a look at not one, but three films in the No Retreat, No Surrender Trilogy

With Indenpendence Day coming up tomorrow here in the states I can't think of a better set of movies to review. Each movie offers a different kind of action formula that is a staple in American film.

Ok, so let's get this started with the original masterwork of the 80's No Retreat, No Surrender. This first film in the franchise came out in 1986, two years after The Karate Kid, and the same year as The Karate Kid Part II. I mention this because this film simply would not exist without The Karate Kid having come before it. Just like The Karate Kid was Rocky for kids (and from the same director no less) No Retreat, No Surrender is The Karate Kid for...ummm well...kids?

No Retreat, No Surrender is directed by Corey Yuen who is known in the states for movies such as The Transporter and DOA: Dead or Alive, but known in Hong Kong for Stephen Chow comedies and Jet Li martial arts movies. In other words the man knows his action and above all he knows how to entertain.

Although the cover of the film may lead you to believe the star is Jean-Claude Van Damme the real star of the movie is an unknown named Kurt McKinney. Jean-Claude Van Damme instead plays the big villain of the movie who is seen only in the opening and ending fights.

The plot of the movie as I mentioned before is similar to that of the Karate Kid, but with many a twist on that winning formula that makes it very unique. In the beginning of the film we are introduced to the father of the main character Jason Stillwell as he begins a fight with the evil Jean-Claude Van Damme. Of course JCVD kicks his ass because he is JCVD and thus the father is shamed as is the son. They move to a new town and try to live a fight free life, but sure enough the new kid in town comes face to face with the neighborhood bullies, one of which is a hilarious fat kid whose taunts are just laughable.

Inevitably Jason realizes there is only one solution to his problem: he must fight because of course there is No Retreat, No Surrender when it comes to a situation like this. Aiming to succeed where his father had failed he sets off to train at the local karate school. Of course the kids and their instructor are all horrible people and decide to beat up the kid instead of helping and training him.

Backed into a corner yet again with only his new friend R.J. to console him with lines like "Hey, ain't no shelves built to stop THIS dancin' machine." and the titular line Jason is left with only one last option. To defeat all his enemies, to conquer all of his problems, Jason must train with the ghost of his idol Bruce Lee. Yes, I said train with the ghost of Bruce Lee and yes he really does. Jason trains...WITH THE GHOST OF BRUCE LEE. THE GHOST OF BRUCE LEE, people.

You thought training montages were cool before well then wait till you see training montages with the ghost of Bruce Lee. Not only is he actually training with the damn ghost of Bruce Lee, but he is training with the ghost of Bruce Lee. Seriously though, this is just too good to be true, but it IS true. It is simply amazing. The best part is probably when his friend R.J. comes across one of his training sessions and wonders what the hell is going on because as far as he can see the only person in the room is Jason. Is Jason completely insane or could he really be training with the ghost of Bruce Lee? That is just one of the deep questions this movie raises.

Of course after the training montage comes the final confrontation. This time it is the son Jason out for revenge against the evil JCVD. This time JCVD doesn't kick as much ass because he's the villain. You know this movie may be one of the rare opportunities to see JCVD not kick ass in a movie and for that alone this movie is pretty unique.

If by the end of this Karate Kid from Bizarro world movie you aren't entertained then I just don't know what to say. In the kid must fight to solve all of his problems genre this is one of the best!

Because the first movie was so awesome they had to make the inevitable sequel which came in the form of No Retreat, No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder

Now that is an action title if I have ever seen one. Everything about it is awesome right down to the subtitle. The question is: Does the movie live up to the title?

No Retreat, No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder is again directed by Corey Yuen from the first movie. However, this time the star is not the same. Instead of the unknown Kurt McKinney we get the unknown (at the time) Loren Avedon. The thing here is that he is not taking over the role of Jason from the first film. In fact there are no returning characters from the first film. Originally the movie was supposed to star Kurt McKinney and Jean-Claude Van Damme reprising their roles, but the story goes that JCVD didn't want to play the same villain again and convinced McKinney to drop out of the film as well. So what we are left with is a movie that really has no relation to the first movie beyond the title and the director.

The plot in this sequel is also very different from the first movie. Instead of another kid must fight to solve his problems movie we get a different kind of tried and true formula: the Chuck Norris/Rambo lets go save some prisoners movie! The main character here is Scott Wylde played by Loren Avedon. Now at first I have to admit I really wasn't feeling good about Mr. Avedon's performance. He's not just cheesy, but to a level that was starting to annoy me. Once the fighting began I started to realize why they cast him. I'm still not sure whether they sped up some of his fight scenes or whether he was just simply really freakin' fast, but either way it comes across looking pretty good. Anyway, the plot begins as Scott arrives in Cambodia to meet his Vietnamese girlfriend. Of course she gets kidnapped by evil Russian and Vietnamese troops because those are the two ultimate enemies of 80's cinema. The only solution of course goes back to the title: No Retreat, No Surrender. No certainly not. Scott must fight his way into the evil base and rescue his girlfriend. Of course he can't do this all alone.

Enter the sidekick: Mac Jarvis played by Max Thayer. Mac Jarvis is the ultimate sidekick and definitely the go to guy when in a situation such as Scott's. This guy has got connections and even better than that he has a storage facility packed to the brim with any weapon you could ever hope for. Together the two grab some weapons and head off on a journey to rescue Scott's girlfriend.

However before they can really start their journey they must deal with one more problem: the sassy woman sidekick! Played by cheesy action movie staple Cynthia Rothrock, the character Terry is the constant pain in the ass (and clearly the not so secret love interest) of Mac Jarvis. Queue lots of cheesy back and forth between the two and you pretty much have the tone right for the rest of the movie.

Well, that and a whole lot of action. This movie really delivers on all the cheesy let's free the prisoners all out war movie. This has the perfect sidekicks, all the cheesy one liners (such as "Well how about...a royal flush" as Scott kicks down a hot cauldron of water on his attackers). The fun action and cheesy dialogue never lets up once the characters all come together. This is really one of the best movies of its kind.

With the awesomeness that is the first two movies I guess it was inevitable that there would be one more film to make it a trilogy of awesome. And thus came No Retreat, No Surrender 3: Blood Brothers.

This third entry again stars Loren Avedon from the previous film, but for the first time in the series Corey Yuen does not direct. Instead we get an unknown director named Lucas Lowe. Also in tradition with the previous sequel this movie has no character or plot connection with either of the previous films.

In this third entry, Loren Avedon stars with Keith Vitali as the brothers Will and Casey Alexander. In the first scene we are introduced to Casey in the midst of a bank robbery. At first we are led to believe he is a coward, but soon enough he pulls a weapon out of his sleeve and the ass kicking begins. Then at the end he gets the approval of a woman stuck in the robbery. You pretty much can't get a more bad ass opening than that. Loren Avedon's character of Will is introduced as a man walking down a very different road from his brother. Well, except for the fact that he also kicks ass. You see Casey is a member of the CIA much like his father, but Will is a mere martial arts instructor. The two brothers never see eye to eye and try to stay away from each other as much as possible, but when their father's life becomes in danger the two different brothers must put aside their differences and join together in the common bond of ass kicking.

Honestly, this is the weakest of the three entries. Sure, it still kicks ass, but the action is not as epic as the second and the plot not as absurd as the first. It is merely a solid cheesy action film. That's not to say the movie isn't worth a watch. It's certainly worth seeing if only to finish off the trilogy, but it also is a fun action film on its own.

Now technically the No Retreat, No Surrender trilogy does not end here. There are two more movies directed by the third film's Lucas Lowe that are sometimes credited as sequels to No Retreat, No Surrender. These films are King of the Kickboxers starring Loren Avedon and its sequel the Avdeon-less American Shaolin. Since neither of these movies officially go by the No Retreat, No Surrender titles I figured this is a good place to stop. I haven't checked out those other two movies, but perhaps someday I will. Neither of those have made their way to DVD so they may show up sometime in the future here.

Final Analysis: The No Retreat, No Surrender trilogy is full of action packed cheesy goodness. The first film is a solid Karate Kid clone complete with the ghost of Bruce Lee. The second is cheesy 80's action at its finest. The third, while the weakest, is still a fun solid action flick. Overall, an extremely fun trilogy of almost completely unrelated films.

Vedict: PLEASE release all of these films in a No Retreat, No Surrender box set in the U.S.!

The Book is Better....Waaaaaaaaaaay Better

2009-07-02T12:24:00.006-04:00

Look around IMDB long enough and you can find just about anything. Today is a prime example.

You might think you've seen everything there is to see in movies, but I assure you that you haven't seen this. My only hope is that you never have to.

Whenever a filmed adaptation of a book comes out you are bound to come across the phrase "The book is better". It is just an inevitability of life. Even in the best adaptations of the worst books there will still be someone out there to make the claim. Then there is the ensuing argument over the validity of the filmed adaptation. The book will always have its fans and the movie will always have its fans and together they will argue for eternity. This has always been the way of the book adaptation.

However, the time has finally come and someone has put an end to this process. A lone man has arrived to destroy all of our perceptions on how to analyze an adaptation of a book. There will be no more arguments. There will be no questions. There is only one possible choice: The book is better.

Ladies and Gentleman I present to you, Nigel Tomm (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2961657/). One glance at his IMDB page will show you that this guy isn't afraid to tackle some much beloved classics (and the much criticized Million Little Pieces). What it won't show you is the truth that lurks just behind each movie adaptation. If you were to click further onto the page of any of these adaptations you would likely find yourself in a state of disbelief, but I am here to tell you that you must believe.

Now bare with me for a moment and just imagine. Imagine that you are sitting in the theater staring at the big screen munching on popcorn and drinking some soda. Your friends are sitting by your side and you are all lost in the magic of the movie on the screen. Now picture the movie that is playing on the screen. It is a movie filled with the color blue. Literally all that encompasses the screen is the color blue. Minutes pass and then an hour and you are completely engrossed. You are engrossed by the film on the screen still encompassing nothing other than the color blue. Roughly 75 minutes later you find yourself refreshed and eagerly anticipating discussion about the 75 minutes of the color blue you have just watched on the screen.

Now before I lose you on this one let me say you might have trouble imagining the scenario I have just laid out. The reason being that no one would ever sit and stare for 75 minutes at a completely blue never changing screen. This my friends is how the lone soul Nigel Tomm has ended all debate over the book vs the movie.

Every single adaptation found on Nigel Tomm's IMDB page comprises of nothing but one color for roughly 75 minutes of your viewing time. Some are 73 minutes, some 70 minutes, some 75 minutes. Each adaptation is also a different color. Some have a blue screen, some have a red screen, and some are green. How he chooses the color and how he chooses the length of each adaptation is beyond me. Maybe there is some scientific formula for how he decides these things, but the main point still stands that for approximately 75 minutes Nigel Tomm has offered nothing but a single color for your viewing pleasure.

You might think this is some kind of joke, especially if I told you that these films were at one time available for purchase on Amazon.com, but the proof is all there. If you look on Amazon you can still find the movies listed, but with a message that the DVD's have been discontinued by the manufacturer. This might lead you to question whether the movies really ever existed at all, but then I could alert you to the fact that each and every one of his movies is available on their respective IMDB pages. You heard me right. For free right now you can sit down and stare at the color blue for 75 minutes knowing that all the plot and character of The Catcher in The Rye is contained within.

If you are too afraid to actually click on the videos, but still need some assurance that these films actually do indeed exist then you can read some of the reviews on IMDB. On The Catcher in the Rye's page you will find three reviews. The first is entitled "Fake Film" and goes on to explain how the movie is nothing but a blue screen for 75 minutes. The second review is entitled "What's wrong with this film? Let's see..." in which the viewer decrees that the film is an insult to all the greats of cinema that has come before.

Then there is the third review. Entitled ""Fake Film"? Certainly Not!", the review argues that the film is a "real film" in the most true cinematic form. The reviewer, darkhero103, admits he is not a fan of the book. As for the movie he brands Nigel Tomm as an absurdist artist and claims the film gives the viewer the opportunity to experience an adaptation completely of the viewer's own imagination. Thus it could be said that people who don't like the book could imagine their own better movie from this Nigel Tomm adaptation.

Personally, I didn't enjoy reading The Catcher in the Rye, but I would never ever subject myself to this adaptation. And thus with one review the book vs. movie adaptation argument stands strong in even the most harsh of situations. In fact, let me be the first to actually say it: The book is better...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better!!!

My New Movie Site Obsession!

2009-06-30T23:14:00.003-04:00

One word. Well, two words, but put together to make one word. So one word. I think.

Flickchart.

You might not have any idea what I'm talking about now, but I am sure you soon will. If I have any say in it you certainly will.

So what is flickchart? Flickchart is a new website currently in the beta stage. To use it you need to apply for an invite or you can find a direct link to sign up if you are crafty like me.

So again what the hell is flickchart? Flickchart is my new obsession. It is a site I just can't close. Even as I type this message Flickchart is tabbed in my browser.

Yeah, but what the HELL is flickchart? Ok, ok, Flickchart is a movie website that tries to compile a list of the best movies according to you. Using the information from each person it also compiles a list of the greatest movies according to everyone.

So how does flickchart make these lists? Very simply. One question at a time. The question is "which movie is better?" The first thing you see after you log in is that very question. How it works is the website provides you with two movies at a time and you must choose the better film. If you have not seen one of the movies you can choose that and the site will pick another movie for you to compare. If you haven't seen either movie you can pick that and it will give you two brand new movies to compare. All you have to do is choose. Which movie is better?

The questions just keep coming. It never ends until you stop it yourself. The problem is I just can't stop. As soon as I answer what I tell myself will be my last question the next two movies pop up and I can't help but compare the two. Seeing as this is all done by a computer program there are no pretensions here. This leads to questions like what is better: The Godfather or Hancock? Sure I laughed when I saw that, but at the same time that's a question you would never hear anywhere else and hey maybe Hancock is someone's preferred choice. I find it hard to believe, but the computer doesn't discriminate like that.

There are so many hard choices I've had to make since I started this thing. Right now my choice is between Pulp Fiction or Back To The Future. For some this is a laughable comparison and an easy choice to make, but for me it's actually hard. You see I always cite BTTF as my favorite movie and that is easy for me to do as it's a movie that holds a special place in my heart. It's really the first movie I really loved. The first movie I quoted and the first movie where I really wanted to be in the movie and do things the characters did. It's also just a damn good movie. However, when confronted point blank with the question which movie is better Pulp Fiction or Back To The Future I find myself thinking about the lesser moments of BTTF like the downright scary happy ending and the stupidity of going to the future to prevent children who haven't even been born yet from becoming assholes.

You see, this is why I love this website. It challenges my mind to really think about what makes a good movie and what makes one movie better than the other. Movies I never would have thought to compare I am now forced too.

Another interesting thing about the site is that your top movie list will only be as accurate as the amount of movies you rate. For example, top gun is at number 3 currently on my top movie list when I don't even like the movie. The reason it is so high is because one of the first questions I was asked was comparing some bad movie to Top Gun. It turned out I liked Top Gun better so I voted for it. Every question since has compared Top Gun to even worse movies so unfortunately Top Gun stays high on my list. This may be seen as a flaw in the system and rightly so, but really Top Gun could fall off the list in just one click if I am asked to compare it with something I actually like.

Flickchart exits the beta stage and goes fully online in September. I hope this site does as well as I think it will. This is a really fun and pretty accurate way to compile a great best movie list. Movie geeks beware: this site will take over your life. At least for a little while.

Funny Trailer!

2009-06-30T15:56:00.003-04:00

I just came across this on ain't it cool news and had to post this here. That narrator may be the greatest I have ever heard in a trailer. He's like an even MORE mumblier Christian Bale. It is just amazing. If the text hadn't been on the screen I don't think I would have understood a single word in that whole trailer. I hope the movie is as entertaining as that trailer, but honestly it looks like it might not be as quality as the previous releases such as Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police (goriest movie ever). Maybe it's just too much of the same or maybe I just need to shut up and give this movie a chance after that amazing trailer. Damn that narrator needs to be in more trailers! Also why the hell is there a very low quality version of live and let die in the trailer? No idea, but its pretty odd and funny.

R.I.P. Jeff Goldblum

2009-06-30T15:03:00.002-04:00

Check out this touching tribute to Jeff Goldblum from Stephen Colbert of all people.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/80429/the-colbert-report-jeff-goldblum-will-be-missed#x-4,vclip,1

Let's not forget this great man.

Lost in VHS Hell Part 5: Josh and S.A.M.

2009-06-28T01:37:00.006-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 4: Dallos

2009-06-25T22:14:00.002-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 3: Avenging Force

2009-06-18T20:23:00.014-04:00

Lost in VHS Hell Part 2: Kafka

2009-06-17T18:30:00.007-04:00

Lost In VHS Hell: Part 1: Cohen and Tate

2009-06-16T19:53:00.006-04:00

Cool Interview With William Sanderson

2009-06-12T15:00:00.001-04:00

William Sanderson is one of the best actors out there if you ask me. He is endlessly entertaining in his current role on True Blood and was great in his previous HBO show Deadwood. I love the fact that William Sanderson and previous That Guy alum Tracey Walter are buddies and often get offered the same roles. Anyway catch the link below for a cool interview with a really cool actor.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/william-sanderson,28944/

Reboots: Worthy or not Worthy?

2009-06-05T14:10:00.004-04:00

You know with Land of the Lost coming out this weekend we have yet another remake/reboot whatever you want to call it in a huge mass of recent franchise restarts. The latest talk has turned to two of my absolute favorite movies Alien and Highlander so I figured I should offer my thoughts on this new trend.

As I said Alien is one of my favorite movies of all time. Actually, I've calculated it down to a precise number: 11th favorite film of all time. So really if anyone thinks they need not mess with this movie it is me. That said the recent talks aren't about remaking this masterpiece. If that were the case I would immediately ask "Why bother?" and shake my head in disdain. In reality, what they are talking about doing (and by they I mean director of Alien himself Ridley Scott and some protege of his who would direct this thing) is doing a prequel to the original movie. I'm not sure if they plan on continuing the franchise further from this prequel, but the way I understand it is they are only planning on doing this one movie that will fit in the same continuity of the original Alien.

If Ridley Scott himself was directing and the writers of Alien (or at least some of the main ones like Dan O Bannon) were brought in to write this prequel I'd actually be excited. Knowing that the movie is at least partially in other peoples hands I'm not that ecstatic about this. Of course the question that first arises is what more do we really need to know? Sometimes things are best left up to the imagination of the viewer. Then again Alien is my 11th favorite movie and with Ridley Scott's involvement I feel like I should be interested. I just can't really get excited over this. Unless they present a clearer and more interesting idea I'm just not interested.

Decision: NOT WORTHY

So now the news is of a possible Highlander reboot. Highlander is even higher on my list of favorite movies coming in at number 9. So if Alien really didn't need to be redone then Highlander you could assume really REALLY shouldn't be redone in my mind. Of course that is exactly what they are trying to do in this case. This is not a prequel or sequel, but a flat out restart of the entire franchise and you know what? I am all for that.

Yes, Highlander is one of my favorite movies, but to me this film is not sacred ground. Whereas I wouldn't change a thing about Alien I do think that Highlander could actually benefit from a nice little franchise. My idea has always been that they could make an epic three part story about a Highlander (not necessarily Connor McLeod, but perhaps a new Highlander) who ends up of course becoming the last highlander or at least partakes in the epic final battle. The reason I think Highlander could work well in a trilogy format is that the story could take place over many many years which in itself would be quite epic.

I think this is the one problem I have always had with the first Highlander. By the end of the movie there was no more story left to tell. There was only one. Of course since Highlander was so successful they had to make more, but there simply wasn't any more story left. So they had to do ridiculous things to continue the franchise. With a trilogy they could have a franchise and tell a complete story with an epic conclusion. If the studios want to go further than three movies with the franchise just look to the anime Highlander: Vengeance for an idea of how to do a new standalone Highlander story right. I think this would satisfy most people.

The problem that comes with this is that the script being worked on right now sounds awful and has the exact same problem as the original Highlander. At the end of the movie Connor kills every Highlander. Thus the story ends, but since they need more in this script they have tacked on a ridiculous twist ending in which Connor's dead mentor reappears and states "This was only the beginning". Add to that the fact that Connor tries to kill Kurgan with a sniper rifle and you start to see how this project could go terribly wrong.

Decision: Worthy (as long as they throw out the script that they are currently working on and approach from a new angle)

R.I.P. David Carradine

2009-06-04T17:00:00.002-04:00

I wish I didn't have to write these words now, but I do. David Carradine is dead.

What I will remember him for most is Kill Bill. That was my introduction to him and I can say that he really made a big impression.

I never really watched Kung Fu and his acclaimed role in Bound For Glory never caught my eye because I really just am not that interested in a movie about Woody Guthrie.

There are many other movies I have seen him in aside from Kill Bill, but the most memorable ones are both Roger Corman productions. The best is the absolutely awesome Death Race 2000 in which he played the main character Frankenstein. The second movie is Cannonball which is really really fun and predates the similar Cannonball Run. I remember there being a sequel to Cannonball called Deathsport which was advertised at the end of the film. I never did see it, but maybe now would be a good time.

The last film I saw him in was Crank: High Voltage in which he was hilarious. Looking on IMDB he has a lot of movies that he worked on that have not yet come out. Hopefully there will be something great in there so that we have not had the last piece of awesome David Carradine on the screen. Though, if Crank:High Voltage ends up being his last significant screen appearance then he has certainly done right by me.

There are certainly people out there who are bigger fans of David Carradine than me. I really only have a passing knowledge of his carreer. Most things I've seen him in were small roles, some of which I never even noticed, and many of his movies I simply have no interest in seeing, but that doesn't mean that the loss of this actor will not be felt by me. I will always remember and enjoy his performances as Bill and Frankenstein and it is sad to think a man that entertaining is now dead.

I'm not sure whether the suicide reports are true or not, but if so that makes it even more sad to think about. David Carradine was part of a great, but not often talked about acting family with his brothers Keith and Robert who are legends in their own right. Perhaps now that he is gone more attention will be paid to this acting family.

R.I.P.

Don't Eat Daniel Craig!!!

2009-06-03T16:07:00.002-04:00

Please, PLEASE don't eat James Bond. It's just wrong.

If you really have to though, they are selling these things in England for a limited time only. So get there quickly if you need to indulge in your cannibalistic urges.

Great Weekend

2009-06-02T18:25:00.003-04:00

This weekend was awesome!

First I saw Drag Me To Hell which ruled. Everyone was laughing, screaming, and squirming.

Then I saw UP in 3D which also ruled. Toy Story 3 Teaser was awesome. Buzz and Woody back on the big screen!

Next came the season finale to my favorite show of this past season: Breaking Bad. The first season of this show was really good, but this second season was even better. So much drama and tension every single episode. The season finale did not disappoint!

Also I watched the video for the new Natall thing for XBOX 360. If you don't know already it is going to be a new piece of hardware that requires no controller or remote to use. You will be able to play games just like the wii by using your whole body, but without any kind of remote. Somehow it also detects your face and many other things I'm sure. If that thing works as well as it did for the actors in the video than I will be amazed. Unfortunately there is no way in hell it will work that smoothly. Even if it does I really don't see why this thing needs to be made other than for microsoft to one up nintendo in a big way. Most games I would not want to play without a remote. I don't want to point my hands at the screen and pretend I am holding a gun.

Also I bought the game Condemned: Criminal Origins for XBOX 360 for $8.00 (Used games rule). In it you play as a psychic fbi agent voiced by Greg Grunberg. So in otherwords you are essentially Matt Parkman from Heroes. I didn't really care for Matt Parkman and after the extremely disappointing fourth volume of Heroes I no longer care or will watch that show again. On the other hand the game Condemned is pretty awesome so far. The basic idea of the game is that you can use almost anything you find as a weapon. This leads to some epic mannequin arm beatdown battles. Awesome.

A great weekend overall for entertainment in many mediums.

Now bring on the summer tv!